InstaKilt

The workforce at a south west Scotland souvenir firm is set for a cash windfall after the company's latest release proved a massive summer hit. Dalbeattie-based Thistle Products - which also produces See You Jimmy hats - launched the Instakilt a month ago.

Since then sales of the tartan beach towel, which doubles as a kilt, have almost outstripped supplies.

Managing Director Ernie Parkinson said staff could look forward to a bonus this year on the back of its success.

He said the Instakilt had been the most successful item his firm had ever produced.

"It has just absolutely taken the market by storm - we have never known a product like it, " said Mr Parkinson.

"We thought when we had the Jimmy hat all those years ago that that did well but this kilt has just been unbelievable. We have sold thousands upon thousands upon thousands."

He confirmed that his workers would enjoy a share of its amazing success.

"We have had reports from head office in Woolworths that they have never known a product like it in their stores," he said. "The employees do have a profit share - we are very conscious of keeping employees happy - but this year they are going to look forward to an additional bonus."

I was going to put in the links to "See you Jimmy Hat" & "instakilt" but Thistle Products website seems to be having problems.

Eau la la !

A 26-year-old plumber from Merseyside has been nominated as the best apprentice plumber in France. Oliver Watson, from Southport, will receive the prestigious Meilleur Apprenti de France award at the French Senate in Paris in September.

He said that the judges would be surprised to realise that he is English - a competitor's work is just given a number to avoid any bias. Mr Watson will accept his prize from French president Nicolas Sarkozy.

Speaking about the presentation, Mr Watson said: "I'll speak to him with my broken French and let him know that I'm English. When you do the competition you don't give your name, you just have a number so it eliminates bias with the judges. I think they'll be a bit surprised."

Mr Watson said he had quit a college design course in Manchester three years ago and went to visit his parents who had moved to France. While there he was given an opportunity to train as a plumber, which led to him entering the competition.

The task was to use traditional plumbing methods to make a complicated pipe work to specific measurements.

"I was working on it after my day job and every weekend. It took about 150 hours to complete," he said. "I knew myself that it was very, very accurate and I was confident it would go far."

Mr Watson now works for a Manchester plumbing firm.

Countdown to Russia's sex day

A Russian region best known as the birthplace of Vladimir Lenin has found a novel way to fight the nation’s birthrate crisis: It has declared Sept. 12 the Day of Conception and for the third year running is giving couples time off from work to procreate.

The hope is for a brood of babies exactly nine months later on Russia’s national day. Couples who “give birth to a patriot” during the June 12 festivities win money, cars, refrigerators and other prizes.

Ulyanovsk, a region on the Volga River about 550 miles east of Moscow, has held similar contests since 2005. Since then, the number of competitors, and the number of babies born to them, has been on the rise.

Alexei Bezrukov and his wife, Yulia, won a 250,000 ruble prize — equivalent to $10,000 — in June after she gave birth to a baby boy, Andrei. Bezrukov said patriotism wasn’t their motive for having a child, their third, although the money was welcome.

“It was a patriotic atmosphere, you know when everyone around is celebrating, but I wasn’t thinking of anything but my son,” he said. “The whole thing is great, it’s great to get 250,000 rubles when you have a new baby to take care of.”

Russia, with one-seventh of the Earth’s land surface, has just 141.4 million citizens, making it one of the most sparsely settled countries in the world. With a low birthrate and very high death rate, the population has been shrinking since the early 1990s.

It is now falling by almost half a percent each year. Demographic experts expect the decline to accelerate, estimating that Russia’s population could fall below 100 million by 2050.

Geoff the Fossa

A Cornish zoo is celebrating after an endangered male fossa cub was born there for the first time. The tiny cub, Geoff, was born at Newquay Zoo six weeks ago and has just been microchipped and sexed.

There are only about 100 fossas in zoos worldwide and only six zoos in the UK have them.

They look like cats but are actually part of the mongoose family. He was named after a retired member of staff who recently died, Geoff Gerry. There are now three fossas at Newquay Zoo, Geoff and his mother and father - Mavis and Harry - who have been at Newquay Zoo for about two and half years.

Stewart Muir from Newquay Zoo said: "When we decided to microchip the baby on Monday everyone wanted to help. If you leave it too long before you microchip it can be all teeth and claws. Doing this at six weeks is perfect as the baby is not really aware of what is happening and so is not stressed, and it is safer for the keepers as teeth and claws are not a problem at this age."

Classified as endangered, the fossa grows to about the size of a Jack Russell terrier. There are fewer than 2,500 left in the wild where they feed on a wide variety of small mammals, birds and reptiles. In forest areas of Madagascar lemurs can make up more than 50% of their diet.

"He is expected to spend another month or so in the den before he starts to venture outside," said Mr Muir.

Assault with a cocktail sausage

A 12-year-old boy apparently got into an argument with an elderly neighbour, the youngster retaliated by throwing a cocktail sausage, which hit the pensioner on the shoulder.

Instead of simply giving him a severe ticking-off, two police officers arrested the terrified boy, put him in the back of a squad car and locked him up in a cell.

He was then hauled before a court and charged with common assault. A judge criticised police and lawyers yesterday for bringing the case, which has already cost thousands of pounds in taxpayers' money.

District Judge Tim Devas told the youth court where the boy appeared: "I was brought up in the era of Just William. You may not remember it but this incident sounds similar.

"Clearly there are certain things that should be done with a 12-year- old and you shouldn't be bringing them into the court system unless it's absolutely necessary. If he has done what was suggested it is very bad behaviour. But is it in the public interest to prosecute a 12-year-old boy who threw a sausage?"

He has urged the Crown Prosecution Service to reconsider whether to prosecute.

The alleged incident is said to have taken place on August 11 in Wythenshawe, Manchester, when Michael Deegan, 74, was walking home from a pub. He claims that after a disagreement the boy threw the cocktail sausage, which hit him on the shoulder.

The boy, who cannot be identified for legal reasons and pleaded not guilty, said: "It was only a small sausage from a picnic we'd been having. I shouldn't have done it but he was going on at me like he usually does so I just threw it."

His mother described the case as a 'ridiculous waste of time and money'. She said: "He was worried sick that he was going to be sent to prison. He was absolutely terrified. I am furious at the way the police over-reacted in the first place and was shocked when he was charged with assault and given a court date.
"My son has learning difficulties and attends a special needs school, so explaining this to him was not easy. He was panicking quite badly and I had to reassure him that he wouldn't go to jail."

Oliver Gardner, defending, said: "It's crazy - they are criminalising children.

"Where is the discretion or logic on the police's behalf when they charge a 12-year-old with assault with a cocktail sausage?

Record number of Brits quit Britain

The number of people migrating from the UK has reached record levels, official Government figures show.

The Office for National Statistics (ONS) said long-term migration from the country reached 385,000 in the year to July 2006, the highest figure since current counting methods were introduced in 1991.

A number of long-term migrants who arrived in the UK in the same period was 574,000, slightly down on the previous year.

Overall, the population of the country rose 0.6% in the year to 60,587,000.

The data revealed that in 2005/06, 74,000 people from the Eastern European countries which joined the European Union in May 2004 arrived in the UK - a much lower figure than the number registered to work by the Home Office in separate statistics.

The ONS' figures indicated that 16,000 from the so-called A8 countries left the UK in the same period.

Insuring against Nessie

Organisers of a duathlon in Scotland have taken out a £1million insurance policy against attack by or sighting of the fabled Loch Ness monster.

First Monster Duathlon race director Malcolm Sutherland said they were planning for all eventualities.

Transport operator FirstGroup said in a statement its policy with insurers Royal and Sun Alliance would pay out should "Nessie" emerge from the murky depths of the vast watercourse and/or attack one of the competitors.

"This is one of our more unusual requests but it certainly gave our team something to get their teeth into," Royal and Sun Alliance trading director Jon Woodman said.

Any "proven sighting" has to be independently verified, subject to policy terms and conditions, the insurer said.

The September 2 event requires individuals in each team of four to complete two legs of the eight-legged event around the shores of Loch Ness, in northern Scotland -- one 10-kilometre run and one 20-kilometre cycle.

Wrestling game withdrawn

A Japanese arm wrestling game is being withdrawn from arcades across the country after three players broke their arms, company officials said.

Arm Spirit, which is distributed by Atlus, is to be removed from 150 game emporiums as "a precaution".

"We think that maybe some players get over-excited and twist their arms in an unnatural way," a spokesman said.

An investigation has been launched into the incidents and the machines are being checked for any malfunctions.

"The machine isn't that strong, much less so than a muscular man. Even women should be able to beat it," company spokesman Ayano Sakiyama told AP news agency.

Arm Spirit gamers advance through 10 levels, pitting their strength against a French maid, a drunken martial arts master and a Chihuahua dog before reaching the final challenge - a professional wrestler.

It is not available outside Japan.

Bench faces wrong way

Residents who waited more than a year for a bench next to a bus stop found one placed facing away from the road. The park bench was placed in such a way following fears that some elderly people could fall into Leek Road, in Stoke-on-Trent, the city council said.

Some people said they had to crane their necks to look for a bus.

The council has now admitted it probably took health and safety "to the extreme" and will put in a bench facing the road in the next few days.The park bench cost £50 to install, but the new one could cost up to £1,000, partly because of work to level the ground to minimise risks to the public.

Councillor for Hanley West and Shelton, Marjorie Bate, said the original bench was "ridiculous".

She said: "I laughed. I have never seen anything so stupid. I then contacted certain officers and they said it wasn't a mistake - it was done deliberately because of health and safety reasons. Some of them (the elderly residents) probably wouldn't have time to get around the bench and onto the bus, especially if they don't see it coming early enough."

The city council has now said the bench looks "rather silly".

The portfolio holder for community services and equalities, Mohammed Pervez, said: "If this bench was in a shelter, it wouldn't have looked out of place. But because it's on its own, it's looking a bit strange."

He has now intervened to ensure the bench will be removed on Tuesday and another is installed in due course.

Mr Pervez said: "The positioning of the bench was done for the right reasons. Some elderly people are unsteady on their feet and could risk falling into the road. But in this case we've probably taken health and safety to the extreme."

Blind pilots aerobatics

A blind pilot has fulfilled a personal dream by flying a fighter jet over Gloucestershire. Miles Hilton Barber, 58, of Duffield in Derbyshire, performed aerobatics at more than 600 mph in the Hawker Hunter jet.

After touching down at Kemble airfield he said: "It's been the amazing fulfilment of a dream."

His co-pilot Andy Cubin said: "It was one of the most humbling experiences of my life."

The adventurer already holds a record for flying a microlight from London to Sydney, and has trekked 150 miles across the Sahara in the Marathon des Sables as well as climbing to 17,500 feet in the Himalayas.

Mr Hilton-Barber, who has been blind for more than 25 years, is hoping to raise money for the charity Seeing is Believing.

"When I was 18 I joined the Rhodesian air force, failed on my sight then started going blind and now I'm blind as a bat," he said. "I've been doing aerobatics in this amazing Delta fighter jet and I'm one of the happiest people in Britain right now and feeling absolutely that even though I'm blind all of us can still live our dreams."

UnFare dismissal

A Railway guard has been sacked for protecting passengers from a violent thug. Paul Yarwood, 44, reacted after a drunken fare-dodger jumped on to a train and hurled abuse at station staff.

The two men became involved in a struggle during which Mr Yarwood, a soldier for 14 years, was knocked over. As he got up, the dad of three clashed heads with the yob.

But after viewing footage of the incident in June, rail firm One dismissed Mr Yarwood, who must also appear in court this week charged with threatening behaviour.

The thug escaped with an £80 fixed penalty fine for smoking on a train. Fellow rail workers are so angry at the company’s actions that more than 100 picketed the Colchester station in Essex yesterday — and they plan further industrial action.

Bob Crow, general secretary of the RMT union, said: “Rail workers face a daily threat of verbal and physical violence — yet One have failed to provide adequate support.”

Mr Yarwood has also won the support of passengers. One regular traveller said yesterday: “It is a shabby way to treat a guard who seems to have been doing his duty in difficult circumstances.”

The guard’s wife Maria, 41, from Brightlingsea, Essex, said: “Our lives have been ruined by this. Paul was helping to protect his passengers.

“It’s a farce. Their case is based on six seconds of CCTV while there are plenty of witnesses to say what did happen.”

The company insisted it was right to dismiss Mr Yarwood, who has been a guard for seven years, for gross misconduct.

Rich git forgets car

A hedge fund tycoon who ran up thousands of pounds of motoring fines abandoned his £80,000 supercar in a pound for three months - because he was too busy to collect it.

Bertrand Des Pallieres ran up 65 congestion charge penalties and dozens of parking fines and also drove without road tax.

Transport for London inspectors spent three months trying to track down the Parisian multi-millionaire. When they towed away his Maserati Cambiocorsa from a square in Knightsbridge in May, they were certain he would come forward to pay his fines and collect his car from the pound.

But he ignored all attempts by TfL to contact him and let the fines increase at the rate of £25 a day until the Standard tracked him down and warned him the car was about to be auctioned.

Mr Des Pallieres, 39, who owns and runs the £170m SPQR fund, left Deutsche Bank with two colleagues in April to set up his own firm, specialising in complex investments in the debt markets.

He said: 'The truth is I was so busy I did not have time to deal with sorting the congestion charges, paying my road tax and getting my car out of the pound. I have been setting up a new business and, as you can imagine, it requires all my focus. I have been running around the world raising money for my fund and setting it up. When I left my previous job at Deutsche Bank, I lost my PA. She had always organised all of these domestic things for me. For a while I did not have a PAbut now I have one, so this will get sorted out.

'I can be too focused, which has its pluses and minuses. I am quite obsessive about work. I think here is a clear example where I have perhaps focused on work to the exclusion of everything else.'

He added: 'Some of my colleagues have teased me about the car. I can understand how people might find this quite strange but it was always my intention to pick it up. I only ever use the car in the summer and this summer I have hardly been in London. In my defence, I would say that parking in the TfL car pound is not that expensive relative to the cost of parking in central London.'

Mr Des Pallieres had 'no idea' his limited edition car was about to be sold. 'I did not realise they could auction it,' he said. ' Obviously, I would be quite upset if it was sold off. It is a lovely car and I do like it, even if I do not use it very often.'

RAF tail Ruskies

Two RAF Typhoon jets were sent to intercept a Russian bomber last week, it was revealed tonight. The ministry provided few details about where and why this happened, but the Russian warplane apparently was in international air space and approaching Britain’s skies when it was shadowed.

The RAF Typhoon from Number XI Squadron followed a Russian Bear-H aircraft over the North Atlantic Ocean last Friday August 17. The incident occurred on the same day Russian President Vladimir Putin placed strategic bombers back on long-range patrol for the first time since the Soviet breakup.

Typhoon F2s took on their first operational duties in June, when they assumed the Quick Reaction Alert (QRA) responsibility for UK and NATO air defence.

Typhoons, the RAF’s newest fast jet aircraft, currently cover the UK's QRA commitment together with Tornado F3 aircraft.

Over the next nine months, the Typhoons will progressively replace Tornado F3s, the aircraft which have performed this duty for many years.

Grade F for School name

The Ogden School District needs a big eraser. After naming a new school "James A. Madison Elementary School" in May, a history teacher pointed out this month that the fourth president of the United States didn't have a middle initial.

"I'm blindsided," school board member John Gullo said. "I hate being embarrassed."

Gullo heads the American Dream Foundation, which donated a large painting of the former president to the school. An accompanying plaque does not have the mystery initial.

Word of the mistake reached superintendent Noel Zabriskie, who verified it and called the company that was making a sign for the new school. The call came in time for the error to be fixed on the sign. It is set to be installed Friday.

Some school letterheads will need to be replaced.

The board voted May 23 to approve the school name as "James A. Madison." The majority of board members chose Madison because the school borders Madison Avenue. Several board members also said they feel James Madison was a great president.

Teddy strop

A prisoner who needed lifesaving surgery refused to go to hospital without his favourite teddy. Barry Piper, an inmate at Wakefield high security jail is known as "a man who can look after himself".

But the hardened criminal staged a stand-off in the van waiting to rush him to hospital and demanded guards fetch the cuddly toy from his cell, saying: "I have to have my teddy."

Eventually the guards gave in and after the teddy was searched for contraband and handed to him, Piper - who is in his 60s - agreed to leave.

An insider said: "There was an uneasy stand-off and at first the prison officers thought he was joking.

"He was seriously ill and he had to go in for a major operation. But he was not going to leave for it without his teddy bear." Piper was taken to Pinderfields Hospital for the surgery, thought to be for a heart condition, where he remains in a serious condition.

The insider went on: "He's been in and out of jail and is a bit of a hard man, so you can imagine the reaction when he asked for his teddy.

"But he's in a bad way so perhaps he thought he was going to meet his maker and didn't want to go alone."

Piper is in Wakefield prison - dubbed Monster Mansion - alongside some of the most notorious inmates, including Ian Huntley, cannibal Robert Maudsley and Roy Whiting, who murdered eight-year-old Sarah Payne in 2000. The Prison Service last night declined to comment on Piper's condition due to patient confidentiality.

Amazingly everyone survived

A TAIWANESE airliner burst into fire today moments after landing in southern Japan but all 165 passengers and crew made a dramatic escape from the engulfing flames.

Giant flames and plumes of black smoke erupted from the China Airlines jet just eight minutes after it had landed from Taipei at Naha airport on Okinawa island.

"When we looked out the window, everything was covered with fire,'' an unidentified male passenger told reporters.

"It was just a few minutes after we got off that the fire swallowed the aircraft and we heard a blast.''

Firefighters sprayed hoses full of foam on the Boeing 737-800, which turned into little more than a charred skeleton that had collapsed into pieces by the time the blaze was put out an hour later.

Officials said three people were taken to hospital - a 57-year-old man and seven-year-old girl who felt sick after the escape and a firefighter who suffered heat stroke.

A flight attendant was also hurt but did not go to hospital.

Air traffic controllers noticed fumes after the plane landed following the flight of one hour and 20 minutes, and advised evacuation, Japanese officials said.

It was later found that an oil leak had caused an engine fire, according to China Airlines.

16 miles on 3 wheels

A 23-year-old Australian man who managed to drive his car on three wheels for more than 25km has been charged with various traffic offences.

Police said the man's licence was suspended after he showed an alcohol reading of 0.173 in a breath test yesterday at Hahndorf, in the Adelaide Hills, where his damaged car came to a halt.

The car had been involved in an earlier collision.

"It's alleged that the car had been driven on three wheels for a distance of about 25.5km with police finding significant gouging in the road surface," a police spokesman said.

"He had allegedly driven through Stirling, Aldgate, Mylor, and ended up in Hahndorf due to the rims being so damaged that the brakes were ground through, causing the vehicle to stop."

The man will appear in court at a later date.

Breakfast on a stick

SPRINGFIELD, Illinois - Mix one egg with other ingredients of choice. Put results on a stick. That's about all the recipe requirements involved at the Illinois State Fair's newest culinary contest, the battle to make the best breakfast on a stick.

The state's agriculture department and the American Egg Board deemed two entries worthy of first place Saturday. Beverly Cutler's sensational sunrise dippers - sausage, egg and cheese wrapped in a biscuit with a side of gravy - shared the top prize with Anthony Karas' bacon-wrapped savory buttermilk crepes.

Rachael Eden won the junior division with slightly healthier fare featuring curry, bean sprouts and snow peas in a wonton wrapper. And eggs and a stick.

The entries were judged according to taste, appearance, creativity and ease of preparation, said Karen Fraase, a marketing representative for the department of agriculture.

Among the dozens of other, more traditional food contests at the fair are competitions for best chocolate chip cookie, blueberry muffin and banana bread.

Cutler's stick dish will be distributed at the Illinois Department of Agriculture tent during the 2008 fair, while Karas' entry will be offered to local restaurants.

The Empire strikes bucks

A rare stormtrooper helmet from the original 1977 Star Wars film has sold at auction for £20,000.

And another sci-fi fan paid £25,600 for a plastic light saber used by Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) in the 1999 prequel The Phantom Menace.

The distinctive helmet was worn for close-up scenes in the first film and again in the 1980 follow-up, The Empire Strikes Back.
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In the movies, Luke Skywalker, Han Solo and Princess Leia battled the white-armoured stormtroopers and their leader Darth Vader.

The helmets were moulded at Shepperton Studios, West London, from a plastic normally used in garden ponds. After filming ended, a production signwriter asked if he could have something from the movies to give his son.

Bosses decided to give him the helmet, which was sold in California with a letter signed by Star Wars producer Gary Kurtz, confirming its authenticity.

For him the bells toll

A Dutch priest has been fined £3,400 (€5,000) for ringing his church bells too loudly in the morning.

The Catholic priest began his early morning bellwork soon after arriving in Tilburg about six months ago, a spokesman for the town council said. He would start ringing the bells at around seven in the morning.

This prompted dozens of complaints from residents, and the council in the southern town agreed the priest was breaking the rules.

'The priest can ring his bells whenever he likes but he has to keep within noise regulations. People don't appreciate it,' the spokesman said.

The priest risks further fines if he continues with the illicit bellage.

'We are still trying to find ways to make him stop,' the spokesman said.