Joy-riders 'make off in milk float'

Joy-riders 'make off in milk float'

Two joy-riders reportedly found their escapade coming to an abrupt end when they sped off in a milk float.

The Mirror says the two could only glide off at 12mph after a milkman left the keys in his vehicle during a 2.30am milk round in Bridgend, south Wales.

He alerted police who spotted the float on CCTV two miles away.

The joyriders tried to run off when police caught up with them but were soon arrested.

Clueless cop clocks Clapton

A policeman reportedly didn't recognise Eric Clapton when he pulled him over for speeding.

The People, quoting a police magazine, says PC Jim Jackson pulled Clapton over for a caution when he was driving his Ferrari on the A3 in Surrey.

After taking his name, he said: "What do you do for a living to have such a nice car?"

"I'm in the music business," Clapton replied.

"You must be doing OK then," the police officer replied.

Sunday, June 27, 2004

small town moves into it's own time zone

A small Canadian town moved into its own time zone for a few days last week.

Clocks gained 10 minutes a day in Blind River, Ontario (search), reports The Sault Star of Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario.

"It first happened to us Monday morning," said resident Perry Boyer. "My daughter walked to her bus stop at the usual time of 8:10 a.m. and when she got there she thought she had missed the bus."

It turned out the girl was just early, and when she got home after school, she noticed several clocks in the house were all 10 minutes ahead.

"So we moved the clock back 10 minutes," Boyer told the newspaper. "But on Tuesday morning the same thing happened."

Residents of the town of 4,000 on the northern shore of Lake Huron compared notes, and by Wednesday noticed that many electric clocks, stove clocks and clock radios were affected, but no VCRs, computers or TV clocks.

Ebay prankster 'gets reply from cannibal'

A man who put his body up for auction on eBay as a joke reportedly had a serious reply from someone claiming to be a cannibal.

Daniel O'Dee from Salford posted the joke advert after a drunken dare, says the Sun, and it was quickly removed by eBay staff.

But he was then shocked to get an email from someone calling himself 'Donnie, the Hanover cannibal' offering Ā£2,000 for a 'fresh corpse'.

The emailer even claimed there was a syndicate of eBay users who helped fund the cost of buying corpses.

Even after Mr O'Dee emailed back explaining that it was a joke, 'Donnie' replied saying he was disappointed.

"I'm disappointed that is was your own body you were selling as I want one as soon as possible," the message read.

"If you have any other access to a fresh corpse I would be interested. I guarantee that it will be more than a fair price."

When Mr O'Dee did not reply to that email, he then received a death threat.

He said: "I'm trying to put it out of my mind. It's safe to say I won't be visiting Germany."

Spencer Tunick breaks Montreal's mass nude photo record in Cleveland

CLEVELAND (AP) - They may have shivered but they weren't shy.

More than 2,700 people braved chilly temperatures and a 4 a.m. EDT start time to take part in a nude photo shoot Saturday at a Cleveland park behind the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum along Lake Erie. Spencer Tunick, a photographer known for taking pictures of dozens, hundreds or thousands of naked people in public places, snapped the photos for the shoot set up by Cleveland's Museum of Contemporary Art.

He posed 2,754 people to set a North American record for the largest group of naked people in a photograph. Montreal had the previous record with 2,500.

For one photo, Tunick posed the crowd lying on their sides facing the city. After completing the shot from atop a 12-metre scissor lift, Tunick said: "That's the best picture I've ever taken."

Many of those in attendance said they were there to participate in Tunick's artwork.

"This is the only way I'm ever going to get in a museum," said Scott Goodrick, 45, of Cleveland.

"I think his work is beautiful. It's an event I wanted to be a part of."

A photo print will be on view at the Museum of Contemporary Art from Aug. 6-8.

Firefighters return to find station on fire

Firefighters in Dallas returned from a call to the suburbs to find a fire raging in their own station started by potatoes they had left cooking.

IOL says the blaze at the station in the southern suburb of Lancaster caused around $125,000 (Ā£68,469) of damage.

It was only put out with the help of firefighters from other stations.

Firefighters now want to remind the public not to leave the cooking on when they go out.

Ebay prankster 'gets reply from cannibal'

A man who put his body up for auction on eBay as a joke reportedly had a serious reply from someone claiming to be a cannibal.

Daniel O'Dee from Salford posted the joke advert after a drunken dare, says the Sun, and it was quickly removed by eBay staff.

But he was then shocked to get an email from someone calling himself 'Donnie, the Hanover cannibal' offering Ā£2,000 for a 'fresh corpse'.

The emailer even claimed there was a syndicate of eBay users who helped fund the cost of buying corpses.

Even after Mr O'Dee emailed back explaining that it was a joke, 'Donnie' replied saying he was disappointed.

"I'm disappointed that is was your own body you were selling as I want one as soon as possible," the message read.

"If you have any other access to a fresh corpse I would be interested. I guarantee that it will be more than a fair price."

When Mr O'Dee did not reply to that email, he then received a death threat.

He said: "I'm trying to put it out of my mind. It's safe to say I won't be visiting Germany."

School gives transvestites own restroom

BANGKOK, Thailand -- Snubbed by both men and women, transvestite students at the Chiang Mai Technology School just wanted a restroom to call their own -- and were granted their wish.

Dubbed the Pink Lotus Bathroom, the facility is exclusively for the school's 15 transvestite students and features four stalls, but no urinals. On the door hangs a sign with intertwined male and female symbols.

"They would come in the morning and use the women's bathrooms, but the women were annoyed, didn't like it or played pranks on them," said Posaporn Promprakai, registrar of the school in Chiang Mai province, about 360 miles north of Bangkok.

The transvestites -- who must wear male attire at school but are allowed to sport girlie hairdos -- switched to the men's bathrooms, only to run into more trouble.

"The men teased them, chased them, and they came screaming and in tears again," Posaporn told The Associated Press.

So Posaporn designated a lavatory just for them, telling the vocational school's 1,500 students to just use their own restrooms.

The transvestite bathroom opened last fall, but this week attracted the notice of local media. Gays, cross-dressers and transsexuals are generally accepted in easygoing Thai society.

"We don't support their decision to be transvestites. We are just trying to solve the problems of one group that is unhappy at school," said Posaporn. "They don't get teased in the bathroom anymore. They're much happier."

British streaker at Super Bowl convicted

HOUSTON, Texas (Reuters) -- A Texas jury on Monday found a British streaker guilty of criminal trespassing for racing onto the field during the Super Bowl in February with only a thong and a smile.

Mark Roberts, 39, could face up to 180 days in jail and a $2,000 fine for the misdemeanor crime when the jury of six women considers his sentence on Tuesday.

Roberts danced an Irish jig at midfield at Reliant Stadium before New England Patriots linebacker Matt Chatham knocked him off his feet and police carried him away.

A veteran streaker who has strutted his stuff at hundreds of events around the world, Roberts said he was disappointed by the verdict.

"If making people laugh is a criminal offense, then they should send me to prison for life," he told reporters.

Roberts said he has been arrested many times but never convicted of a crime in connection with streaking.

Defense attorney Sharon Levine told the jury that Roberts did not trespass because there were no signs posted in the stadium telling people to stay off the field.

But prosecutor Kristin Guiney argued that Roberts' antics could not be tolerated in post-September 11 America.

"As light-hearted about this as I'd like to be, we don't live in a society anymore where we can excuse this kind of behavior," she told the jury.

Roberts has admitted to passing through the supposedly tight Super Bowl security wearing a phony referee's uniform, then ripping it off and stepping onto the field just before the start of the second half.

An online casino ad was painted on his skin.

Woman 'gives birth to frog'

A woman in Iran claims to have given birth to a frog.

BBC Online says Iranian daily Etemaad claims the creature grew from larva inside the woman's body.

While the 'frog' has yet to undergo genetic tests, the paper quotes medical experts who say it has human characteristics.

Clinical biology expert Dr Aminifard said: "The similarities are in appearance, the shape of the fingers and the size and shape of the tongue."

The paper claims the mother-of-two, from the south-eastern city of Iranshahr, unwittingly picked up the larva when she swam in a dirty pool.

But it is unclear how this could have happened.

Firefighters return to find station on fire

Firefighters in Dallas returned from a call to the suburbs to find a fire raging in their own station started by potatoes they had left cooking.

IOL says the blaze at the station in the southern suburb of Lancaster caused around $125,000 (Ā£68,469) of damage.

It was only put out with the help of firefighters from other stations.

Firefighters now want to remind the public not to leave the cooking on when they go out.

Man's cross over swearing

AN ANGRY pensioner spent three years going through library books - crossing out swear words.

American Raymond Barber, 79, scribbled out the expletives in hundreds of books at his local library in Glens Falls, US.


The Second World War vet was charged with criminal mischief for the stunt.

It is believed that in place of the curses, he wrote: "God is enough."

2yr hiccup ordeal over

A MAN who hiccupped non-stop for two years has finally stopped ā€“ after undergoing surgery.

Shane Shafer, 50, from Texas, began hiccupping after suffering from a stroke.

Since then, he has had 10 injections a day to bring him some relief and the only way to get a half an hour respite was to make himself sick.

But now boffins in New Orleans believe they have found a cure after neurosurgeons at Louisiana State University Health Sciences Centre implanted a device which controls the Vagus nerve which, if irritated, can cause hiccups.

The surgeons, Dr Bryan Payne and Dr Robert Tiel, believe that Shaneā€™s Vagus nerve may have been affected by the stroke.

The Vagus Nerve Stimulator (VNS) uses electrical impulses delivered by a generator implanted in the chest to two tiny leads wrapping around the nerve in the neck.

The dose of stimulation, programmed by a doctor, is automatically delivered.

Dr Payne said: "Weā€™re excited about our short-term success and are hopeful that we will offer Mr Shafer long-term relief."

Hiccups are a natural action but serve no purpose and usually end naturally.

Prolonged attacks can cause significant illness and even death.

Would be burglar gets stuck in AC vent

KANSAS CITY, Mo. -- A would-be burglar wound up in a tight spot south of Lawrence, Kan., on Monday.

The discovery was made by a convenience store employee who heard a strange noise after arriving for work in the morning, KMBC-TV in Kansas City reported.

"I started hearing noises in the back," clerk Mary Hamlin told KMBC. "I honestly didn't have any idea what it was. I figured it was somebody around back of the building just messing around."



Hamlin called her boss, then police. Officers who arrived at the scene found a man stuck inside an air-conditioning vent. They called for assistance, and crews freed the man. The building at the intersection of highways 56 and 59 also houses a car dealership, which is where the intruder was apparently headed when he became stuck.

The man had apparently tried to get in through a window and a door before he decided to climb onto the roof, the TV station reported.

"(The shaft) goes up all the way through the attic. I can't see how he got in there at all. I mean, it's just amazing," said C.T. Hansen, who runs the dealership.

The man was treated for dehydration. He has not been charged with any crime.

Rev puts ban on coins

A VICAR stunned wedding guests when he said he would only accept notes in the collection.
The Rev Mark Sowerby put a sign next to the collection plate which read "Paper money only".

Bride Anne-Marie Ansell, 20, who wed squaddie Wayne, 21, said: "It was my big day and the vicar ruined it."

Rev Sowerby, of St Wilfred's, Harrogate, North Yorks, said: "I am sick of counting small change to the value of Ā£5 to Ā£15 a wedding.

"Such gifts are not only insulting to God but I have better things to do with my time."

How to beat the Glasto toilet horror

How to beat the Glasto toilet horror

The Whiz, the Go Bag and the She-pee are three options for a gal in need of relief at this year's Glastonbury festival but do they live up to their promises? We have two volunteers who are about to find out.

Even the most seasoned festival-goer is likely to baulk at the sight and stench of a brimming Glastonbury toilet.
It's something most blokes, if they're lucky, will only have to experience a couple of times over the weekend but women have to brave the cubicles of doom every time that nature calls.

Not only that, ladies end up spending a considerable amount of the festival queueing - missing the music into the bargain.

This year, the festival's organisers have sought to redress the balance with the introduction of female urinals - or She-pees - guarded by concierges to keep the boys at bay.

But other minds have been at work on the same burning issue. Two products have just been launched to festival-goers, promising differing solutions to how a girl can get a swift comfortable pee and still keep her dignity.

The Whiz is a funnel which allows a woman to go standing up - in the She-pee for instance. Taking a different tack, the Go Bag is a pouch of crystals which turn liquid into a solid gel for easy disposal.


Both products were originally developed for the medical market and have undergone clinical testing.

But BBC News Online has recruited two intrepid volunteers to give the devices the ultimate field test:- a full four days at Glastonbury with all the drinking, dancing and mayhem which that entails.


THE WHIZ
How it works: It's a reusable funnel which fits snugly against the body, meaning the woman can pee standing up, anywhere that a man could.

The Whiz is made from flexible anti-bacterial plastic meaning you can "pee, shake and stuff it in your pocket," says Marketing Manager Kate Pierrepont.

"When we launched it at the Isle of Wight festival [2004] there were women rushing up to us who were desperate for the loo. This device makes it easier and more dignified than squatting because you can't bear the queue."

Pierrepont recommends using the Whiz in a urinal or toilet if possible, to prevent pollution of local water courses.

Price Ā£5.00

Tester Robyn Bryant from New Zealand who went to Glastonbury for the first time last year.

"I thought the toilets were gross and they lived up to what I had heard about them.

"I particularly 'enjoyed' the giant trench - although I must say it was quicker to go in than the others.

"I'm keen to try this. It's always a problem going to the loo at festivals, you don't want to miss the music and so you hang on and then by the time you get there you're busting and there's a huge queue." GO BAG

How it works: The double plastic bag contains a pouch of dry crystals which swell to form a solid gel when liquid is added.

The top of the bag then seals over the lip and the bag can simply be thrown away.

"We are aiming it at festival goers because they have to encounter unsanitary situations," says Go Bag's Carl Rees.


"It's small, compact and easily disposed of - and you can use it in a tent which is better than stumbling around the campsite in the dark."

The Go Bag is currently in use by the US Army and in theory each bag can be used up to three times before disposal.

Price Ā£8.95 for three

Tester: Sam Stephenson from Manchester, regular festival goer.

"This is a great idea for Glasto. I lost my expensive Maglite torch in a Glastonbury toilet last year - it fell out of my pocket in the dark and going in to get it just wasn't an option.

"In the middle of a huge, huge crowd, taking off to the loo and then trying to find your mates again afterwards can a bit tricky - this is mainly why I went for the bag device. I can picture having a right giggle in the middle of the Pyramid stage audience whilst I'm weeing into a bag!"

Check back next week to find out how our testers got on at Glastonbury.

UK 'being overrun by parakeets'

The UK faces an invasion of parakeets, with the wild population likely to exceed 100,000 in a decade, experts are warning.

The Sun says an Oxford University study has found 20,000 ring-necked parakeets, normally found in much sunnier climes, roaming free, with numbers going up by 30 per cent a year.

And although it was thought the birds were surviving on suburban bird feeders, the study found many could last on wild fruit, nuts and buds.

There are 10,000 of the birds in London alone, with one roost in Esher holding 6,000.

A vineyard in southern England saw its production fall from 3,000 bottles to just 500 in one year after a parakeet invasion.

Parakeets can live for up to 34 years, and a female can give birth to 60 chicks in her lifetime.

Vietnamese man claims to have world's longest hair

Vietnamese man claims to have world's longest hair

A Vietnamese man is claiming to have the longest hair in the world.

Tran Van Hay, from the Mekong delta province of Kien Giang, says his hair is 20.34ft long (6.2m).

The 67-year-old hasn't had his hair cut for 31 years and is renowned for having the longest hair in Vietnam, says the VNA agency.

It's even listed in Vietnam's own record book, but he has yet to contact Guinness World Records with his claim.

A spokeswoman said the current holder of the record is Hoo Sateow from Thailand, with a hair length of 16ft 11ins.

She said they'd like to hear from Tran Van Hay to verify his claim and possibly name him as the new world record holder.

Indian man claims world's longest moustache

An Indian man is aiming for a place in the record books for the longest moustache in the world.

Badamsingh Gurjar Khatana claims to have a 13.5 foot-long moustache.

The current record is held by Kalyan Sain, whose moustache measures 11.1ft.

The Guinness Book of Records say they haven't heard from Khatana, but says if he can provide documentary evidence then he may be the new record holder.

Khatana, from Kemri in Rajasthan, says he hasn't shaved or trimmed his moustache for the last 26 years.

"The only thing that I have been doing for some years is applying oil regularly every morning. Other than that I do not spare much time for it," he said.

The Asian Age says the 61-year-old began growing the moustache because, "men in our village take pride in moustaches as it is perceived sign of masculinity and therefore it was natural that I grow one too" .

Mr Khatana lives with his two wives and 14 children.

Portugals home match outnumbered by Engerrrrrrlaaaand

Portugals home stadium in Lisbon " the stadium of light" was swamped by England fans in tonights match. approximately 40,000 England fans filled the 65,000 seater stadium , leaving a small corner and a couple of press boxes free for the Portuguese

Landlord renames pub

A Liverpool landlord has renamed the "Half Moon" pub "The Half Roon" after Englands 18 year old star's 4 goals in 2 games.

Paramedics comfort distraught Britney ...then attend run over snapper

AN hysterical BRITNEY SPEARS had to be calmed down by paramedics after her car ran over a photographer.
As for the poor snapper lying in pain with a suspected busted ankle ā€” well, he has to wait his turn.

These are the amazing pictures which show things are going from bad to worse in the mad, mad world of Britney.
Having been forced to cancel her world tour after knee surgery, the singerā€™s life was plunged into further chaos when her 4x4 drove over the cameraman at the weekend.

The panic-stricken singer sat in the car screaming and crying after the accident.

Mascara running down her cheeks, she screamed: ā€?Oh no, oh no. Mom, Mom,ā€¯ after her mother Lynne, who was driving the hulking motor, ploughed into the photographer.

She was so upset she had to be calmed down by a paramedic before he went on to treat the injured man, British-born Calum Reavely.

The ambulance man stood at Britneyā€™s car door, holding her hand and consoling her, fearing she was suffering a panic attack.

Britney ā€” wearing a leg brace to support her damaged knee ā€” and her mum had been buying a puppy when what should have been a pleasant photo opportunity turned nasty.

Photographers surrounded her as she emerged from a pet shop near her beachside apartment in Santa Monica, California.

She was clutching her new dog with her mum and sister Jamie Lynn, 13, in tow.

As their mum drove the vehicle away, there was a sickening crunch and a photographer fell in a heap on the floor.

Indian man claims world's longest moustache

An Indian man is aiming for a place in the record books for the longest moustache in the world.

Badamsingh Gurjar Khatana claims to have a 13.5 foot-long moustache.

The current record is held by Kalyan Sain, whose moustache measures 11.1ft.

The Guinness Book of Records say they haven't heard from Khatana, but says if he can provide documentary evidence then he may be the new record holder.

Khatana, from Kemri in Rajasthan, says he hasn't shaved or trimmed his moustache for the last 26 years.

"The only thing that I have been doing for some years is applying oil regularly every morning. Other than that I do not spare much time for it," he said.

The Asian Age says the 61-year-old began growing the moustache because, "men in our village take pride in moustaches as it is perceived sign of masculinity and therefore it was natural that I grow one too" .

Mr Khatana lives with his two wives and 14 children.

UK's first ever naked shopping event held

The UK's first ever naked shopping event has been held in Central London.
There was a poor turnout for the event with only about 15 naturists turning up at the Plaza shopping centre in Oxford Street.
Oona Graham-Taylor, spokeswoman for the Plaza centre, blamed the disappointing turnout of naturists on the Euro 2004 football championships.
She said the centre would "possibly" consider holding another naked evening, says BBC News Online.

"We were actually hoping for more but it is the first event we have run and the football cut numbers down", she said.
Naturists were invited to register as naked shoppers before being allowed entry on the night. Many of the centre's shops and restaurants also offered discounts to the nude bargain hunters.

Staff remained fully clothed during the event.
Nick Mayhew, co-author of naturists' guidebook Bare Beaches, was on hand to sign copies of his book.

First Private space flight a success

First Private space flight a success

By Reed Stevenson
MOJAVE, Calif. (Reuters) - The privately funded rocket plane SpaceShipOne flew to outer space and into history books on Monday as the world's first commercial manned space flight.

The distinctive white rocket plane was released from a larger plane called the White Knight and ignited its rocket engine to enter space 62 miles above the earth.

Against the backdrop of a clear blue sky, it landed safely back at a runway in the Mojave Desert in California, about 100 miles north of Los Angeles.

"The colors were pretty staggering from up there," said pilot Michael Melvill, who also earned his wings, officially, as an astronaut. "It was almost a religious experience."

Melvill said he could see the black expanse of outer space, the curvature of the earth and a broad swathe of the Southern California coast during his three and half minutes just beyond earth's atmosphere.

The unprecedented $20 million project was intended to demonstrate the viability of commercial space flight and open the door for space tourism.

The plane with its striking nose -- a pointed cone covered with small portholes -- was designed by legendary aerospace designer Burt Rutan and built with more than $20 million in funding by billionaire Paul Allen, who co-founded Microsoft Corp .

After burning its rocket for 80 seconds, SpaceShipOne sped up to more than three times the speed of sound and then coasted to its peak altitude, making Melvill weightless.

Melville said he released a bag of M&Ms chocolates to see if they would float in the cockpit.

"It was amazing, these M&Ms were going around everywhere," he said.

The flight marked the first time that a non-government spacecraft reached the altitude considered to be the boundary between earth's atmosphere and outer space.

Allen and SpaceShipOne's builders were expected to next try for the Ansari X Prize, which is $10 million for the first team that sends three people, or an equivalent weight, on a manned space vehicle 62 miles above the earth and repeats the trip within two weeks.

Sir Paul ensures dry gig

Sir Paul McCartney ensured his 3,000th gig wasn't washed out, as he arranged for dry ice to sprayed on clouds above the venue.

The Sun says organisers spent £20,000 in arranging for three jets to spray the clouds above St. Petersburg.

The operation worked, and sunshine broke through minutes before Mc Cartney went on stage to the cheers of 100,000 fans.

A source close to the 62-year-old said: "He thought it was a fantastic idea. The dry ice helps hold the water within the clouds."

A similar technique was also used by Russian president Vladimir Putin, ahead of the city's 300th anniversary celebrations.

His tour is set to end in front of 120,000 fans at Glastonbury.

Mad monk's member features big in Russian erotica museum

Mad monk's member features big in Russian erotica museum

SAINT PETERSBURG, Russia (AFP) - In a more innocent age, it was said that Gregory Efimovich Rasputin's legendary power over women was due to his piercing eyes.


But a new museum of erotica here suggests that the mad monk's charm may instead have been, ahem, concealed beneath his cassock.


Measuring 28.5 centimeters (about 11 inches) -- allowing for shrinkage caused by pickling -- Rasputin's penis displayed in a tall glass bottle is, to put it delicately, a big attraction at the museum.


Director Igor Knyazkin said he bought the object from a French antiquitarian for 8,000 dollars (6,600 euros), along with several of Rasputin's hand-written letters.


It was not known if he had a certificate of authenticity for such a remarkable piece.


Reputed both for his mysticism and his debauchery, Rasputin was a powerful influence at the court of the Romanov Tsars.


Concerned about his unusual hold over the Empress Alexandra, a group of aristocrats decided to kill him to save Russia.


They lured him to an assignation in 1916, fed him drugged cakes, shot him and finally killed him by wrapping him in a carpet and throwing him into the frozen Neva river.


The aura of sexual power and mysticism lives on. Some Russians think just by staring at the object, they can cure sexual impotence.


One visitor asked Knyazkin if this is true.


"Without a shadow of doubt," he replied with a smile.


Knyazkin, 37, a urologist and sexologist, set up the museum in the clinic he runs, partly with the aim of helping his patients overcome impotence. The atmosphere of the museum makes patients "more optimistic and relaxed," he said.


"The aim of the doctor is to free his patient from anxiety and fears. Men who come here are ill at ease because of their problems, and our light and happy atmosphere reassures them."


Only part of Knyazkin's collection of 12,000 erotic objects is displayed in the clinic, which is staffed by buxom nurses wearing short white blouses and high heels.


"I keep the valuable stuff at home," he said.


Nevertheless, the museum still contains an impressive collection of ceramic phalluses and bawdy drawings.


Many of the exhibits come from his patients, said the doctor, rattling off the names of several members of Russian high society.

Jailbreak duo escape punishment

The pair handed themselves in to staff at Gloucester Prison
Two men who fled an open prison and knocked on the door of another jail asking for a stricter regime will not serve extra time.
Audie Carr, of Hereford, and Benjamin Clarke, from Gloucester, claimed Leyhill Open Prison in Gloucestershire was "rife with drugs".

They asked Gloucester Prison staff if they could serve their sentences there.

Charges of escape from lawful custody against the pair were dropped at Gloucester Crown Court on Wednesday.

Judge Jamie Tabor QC agreed it was not in the public interest to prosecute the duo.

Drugs habits


Carr, 29, and Clarke, 23, fled Leyhill after requests to be transferred were declined.

Giles Nelson, defending, said both had beaten drug habits after rehabilitation programmes at Gloucester Prison.

"They were off drugs and concerned about what was happening to them at Leyhill," he said.

The pair were at large for 17 hours, having missed a roll call at 2030 BST on 9 March.

They walked through the night and turned up at Gloucester Prison around 1250 BST the next day.

Adrian Foster, prosecuting, said he wished to discontinue the matter as there had been no violence or threats made in the escape.

They were off drugs and concerned about what was happening to them at Leyhill

Giles Nelson, defending

When he fled Leyhill, Clarke was serving an 18-month jail term imposed at Gloucester Crown Court on 1 March for two offences of burglary and theft.

Carr began a five-month sentence on 8 April for assault, resisting arrest and possession of an offensive weapon. He was sentenced at Hereford Magistrates' Court.

They are to stay at the Gloucester jail until their release later this year. Carr is due for release on 5 August and Clarke on 1 October.

In a statement issued after the hearing, a Prison Service spokesperson said there were drug rehabilitation programmes at Leyhill.

"Any prisoners found in possession of or using illegal drugs are immediately stopped from going out on licence and, in some cases, returned to open conditions," the spokesperson added.

Police chief's home burgled as he gave crime talk

Police chief's home burgled as he gave crime talk

A police chief's home was burgled while he was giving a talk on crime prevention.

Superintendent Peter West had to dash from the meeting and drive home to comfort his wife Pauline in Folkestone, Kent.

She discovered raiders had grabbed jewellery and personal items from their house.

Mr West was addressing a public meeting at Tenterden, near Ashford, at the time of the break-in, reports The Sun.

The 50-year-old Commander for the Weald area of Kent was talking about the importance of measures to prevent crime when his wife called him on his mobile.

He said: "My first instinct was concern for my family, followed by my professional instinct of wanting to catch whoever was responsible. I am no different from any other victim of crime in that I want to see justice done.

"I have since taken further security steps to protect my house. Having been a policeman for a number of years, I do understand victims' frustrations and I am very mindful of the security measures that need to be taken."

Man gets stuck in child's tyre swing

An Austrian man got himself trapped in a swing made from a tyre after falling asleep.

The 46-year-old sat on the swing in a playground in the city of Linz. But after falling asleep, he sank into the tyre and became stuck.

A friend who failed to get him out ended up calling the fire service, reports the Krone newspaper.

They tried unsuccessfully for some time before eventually working the man free.

Bono caught smoking in his own hotel

Bono has been ticked off for smoking a cigarette - in his own hotel.



The U2 singer was entertaining the Red Hot Chili Peppers in the Clarence Hotel in Dublin when he lit up.

Staff and friends asked him to stub it out - even though the singer and his U2 bandmates own the hotel.

"It was the wee small hours," Bono said. "I was in the company of people from out of town who didn't know about the ban and for a moment nor did I.

"I was quickly reminded by the staff and a few friends. I apologised then and I apologise now."

Ireland passed strict new anti-smoking laws earlier this year outlawing smoking in public places.

German zoologist says bees not as busy as we think

A German zoologist says bees aren't as busy as people are led to believe.

Professor Randolf Menzel, a neurobiologist and zoologist from the Free University in Berlin, has studied bees for four decades.

He said: "Bees are not particularly hardworking. Instead they sleep a lot and are lazy. They spend up to 80% of the night sleeping and even during the day they often fly to the nest where they rest their wings."

But to compensate for their apparent laziness, Menzel said they were actually very intelligent. He said they were quick learners, were able to recognise various scents and had five memory phases.

The researcher, who last week was awarded a prize for his work by the German Zoological Society, also said bees' learning behaviour, like many animals, was based on a reward system.

"If a bee is rewarded once for something, it remembers it for a week afterwards. But if it is rewarded three times, it will remember it for its entire lifetime," said Professor Menzel.

The memory capacity of the honey-making insects means they can distinguish between more than 50 different scents to find the one they want.

"What is interesting is that what smells good to a bee, is also a pleasant smell for humans," said Menzel.

El Paso Named Sweatiest U.S. City

El Paso, Texas, with average summer temperatures above 95 degrees Fahrenheit and relative humidity of 36 percent, is the sweatiest city in the United States, a study released on Tuesday found.


Research scientist Tim Long calculated heat indexes and relative humidity levels to come up with his top 100 sweatiest cities in America list. By Long's calculations, in just four hours, El Paso's residents produce enough sweat to fill an Olympic swimming (news - web sites) pool, with individuals shedding more than 36 fluid ounces of perspiration an hour.


"The driving force is heat, but humidity is a key factor," said Long. "It can feel like 118 in El Paso but it's only 94."


For the dubious honor, El Paso Mayor Joe Wardy will receive a year's supply of Red Zone antiperspirant from Old Spice, a brand owned by consumer products company Procter & Gamble Co. and the sponsor of the study.


The next four sweatiest U.S. cities are: Greenville, South Carolina; Phoenix, Arizona; Corpus Christi, Texas; and New Orleans, Louisiana.

England car flags may cause accidents

LONDON (Reuters) - Tens of thousands of England fans are flying St George's flags from their cars as Euro 2004 nears -- so many that they have been accused of risking accidents.


Motoring organisations are worried the flags could obscure drivers' vision, an offence which could land them with a fine of 2,500 pounds.


Draping the white flag across the dashboard could also be a serious hazard if the sun reflects off it.


"Don't do anything that is going to be dangerous by sticking flags out sidewards where they could strike pedestrians or other vehicles," said a spokesman for the AA organisation.


"If you do have an accident and the police think the flags were a contributory factor, that really could land you in some trouble," he added.


With just under a week to go before England's first match, supermarket chain Sainsbury's has already sold 75,000 car flags which clip to the windscreen.


Junior Playtime, one of the firms supplying them, has sold out completely after shifting some 50,000.


"We've had quite a few phone calls requesting more, and I know my customers have had enquiries they've had to turn down," said sales manager Laurence Watford.

SAD Unpatriotic BarStewards !

Pub will have 'Football Free Zone' for England game

A Nottingham pub is opening what's believed to be the country's first "Football Free Zone" for Thursday's England v Switzerland Euro 2004 game.

Tony Beecroft, landlord of the White Horse Pub in Ruddington has teamed up with winemakers Lindemans to create the 'pub of two halves'.

It'll enable 'football widows' to enjoy treats such as free manicures, re-runs of Sex & The City and free drink and food served by a David Beckham look-a-like.

Commenting on the pilot scheme, Amy Thomson from Lindemans said: "Our pub of two halves offers women, and mums in particular, the perfect opportunity to indulge themselves and still have an afternoon with their husbands.

"Of course we're all hoping for a good result on the day, but for some of us a glass of great tasting wine and some pampering is just too good an opportunity to miss!"

If the trial is successful it could be trialled in other cities during England internationals

Polygamy rife among town's cops

More than half of the police officers in a US town have more than one wife, an investigation has revealed.
The eight month investigation into police polygamy in Hildade, Utah, was ordered by Attorney General Mark Shurtleff.
He told the Salt Lake Tribune: "Hildale has 13 officers who are certified by Utah, seven by our records are polygamists."
But Shurtleff admitted that none of the seven officers would face criminal charges: "We just don't have the resources to start charging bigamy," he told the paper.
The mayor of Hildale, David Zitter, callied the investigation "a nuisance" and accused Shurtleff of making "a direct assault on polygamy".
"I don't know how you can see it any other way," he said.
The population of Hildale is a stronghold of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, which practices polygamy.
The more well-known Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has disavowed its previous doctrine that polygamy was acceptable.

HARTFORD, Conn. -- You can reasonably bet that Larry Olmsted is pretty sick of seven-card stud.

The Vermont native sat at a poker table at Foxwoods Resort Casino at Mashantucket at 1:22 p.m. Thursday and remained there for the next 72 hours, taking occasional bathroom breaks but never leaving the poker area.

Olmsted's feat was intended to set the record for the longest casino poker session, one that has yet to be certified by Guinness World Records to become official.

"It's not for the girls, and not the money. It's for the glory," Olmsted said.

Under Guinness rules, Olmsted, 38, was required to play almost every hand, except for one 15 minute break every eight hours.

He sat down with $100 in poker chips and ended with around $1,000 in winnings, although he gave most of it away in tips to the Foxwoods staff. He played seven-card stud, with a 50 cent ante and a $1 forced bet with a $5 max.

He ate cheeseburgers and grilled cheese sandwiches at the poker table and drank more than 30 cups of coffee, six ice teas, four strawberry shakes and a couple of spicy Virgin Marys.

Olmsted's concentration waned in the last 12 hours, as did his ability to stay awake.

"I got to a point where I couldn't read the numbers on the cards," he said.

City spending $11,000 on goats to kill weeds

City spending $11,000 on goats to kill weeds

HELENA, Mont. -- This city is going decidedly low-tech get rid of its weed problem.

Officials plan to spend $11,000 to lease 850 goats so they can eat the Dalmatian toadflax, leafy spurge and spotted knapweed that choke Mount Helena.

"If you level the playing field the grass will win. The weeds didn't come in overnight, and we're not going to take care of it overnight," said Joe Dooling of Helena, who owns the goats and leases them to ranchers for weed control.

Helena's weed-control plan includes use of chemicals after the goats leave.

Four years ago, 50 goats were put on Mount Helena in pens covering one and two acres. Those animals escaped a number of times, but the new plan includes having two herders and three dogs keep an eye on the goats.

The city plans a more intensive fight against weeds this time around, keeping the goats on the job for a week or so instead of months. They will be penned at night and will receive water trucked to points nearby.

Dooling said his goats are from Texas, but are quite willing to eat Montana weeds.

"They're more inclined to try things out," he said. "A goat eats 4 percent of his body weight a day."

Guiness verifying if man's 72-hour poker game brakes record

HARTFORD, Conn. -- You can reasonably bet that Larry Olmsted is pretty sick of seven-card stud.

The Vermont native sat at a poker table at Foxwoods Resort Casino at Mashantucket at 1:22 p.m. Thursday and remained there for the next 72 hours, taking occasional bathroom breaks but never leaving the poker area.

Olmsted's feat was intended to set the record for the longest casino poker session, one that has yet to be certified by Guinness World Records to become official.

"It's not for the girls, and not the money. It's for the glory," Olmsted said.

Under Guinness rules, Olmsted, 38, was required to play almost every hand, except for one 15 minute break every eight hours.

He sat down with $100 in poker chips and ended with around $1,000 in winnings, although he gave most of it away in tips to the Foxwoods staff. He played seven-card stud, with a 50 cent ante and a $1 forced bet with a $5 max.

He ate cheeseburgers and grilled cheese sandwiches at the poker table and drank more than 30 cups of coffee, six ice teas, four strawberry shakes and a couple of spicy Virgin Marys.

Olmsted's concentration waned in the last 12 hours, as did his ability to stay awake.

"I got to a point where I couldn't read the numbers on the cards," he said.

The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful. First grade-true story:

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read,

"...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?' The teacher paused, then asked the class, "...And what do you think that man said?"

One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said 'Holy crap! A talking pig!"

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

lake disappears within days

Suburban St. Louis lake vanishes over the course of mere days





WILDWOOD, Mo. (AP) - To folks around Wildwood, it's downright freaky: an entire 9.3-hectare lake vanished in a matter of days, as if someone had pulled the plug on a bathtub.

Lake Chesterfield went down a sinkhole this week, leaving homeowners in this affluent St. Louis suburb wondering if their property values disappeared along with their lakeside views.

"It's real creepy," said Donna Ripp, who lives near what had been Lake Chesterfield. "That lake was 23 acres - no small lake. And to wake up one morning, drive by and it's gone?"

What once was an oasis for waterfowl and sailboats was nothing but a muddy, crackled pit outlined by rotting fish.

The sight had 74-year-old George English scratching his head.

"It's disheartening, getting out on your deck and seeing this," he said as he stood next to wife, Betty, and the lakeside condominium they bought in 1996 for its view. "One day it's a beautiful lake and now, bingo, it's gone."

Some residents said they noticed that the lake, after being swelled by torrential rains weeks earlier, began falling last weekend. The Englishes said they noticed the drop-off Monday.

By Wednesday, the manmade lake - which was up to three metres deep in spots - had been reduced to a mucky, stinking mess.

David Taylor, a geologist who inspected the lakebed Wednesday, told the St. Louis Post-Dispatch that a sinkhole was formed when water eroded the limestone deep underground and created pockets in the rock. The sinkhole was "like a ticking time bomb."

The lake and surrounding housing development date to the late 1980s.

bizzarre accidents

The Bricklayer
1998 Urban Legend
Accident Report
This one needs an introduction, so you won't be lost at the beginning. This man was in an accident at work, so he filled out an insurance claim. The insurance company contacted him and asked for more information. This was his response:

"I am writing in response to your request for additional information, for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient. I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80-foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now unneeded tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using the pulley attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow decent of the 300 pounds of tools."

"You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh only 155 pounds. Due to my surprise of being jerked off the
ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel."
"Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, and the lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind. I let go of the rope..."

England fans riot in England -alls well in Portugal

Trouble erupts after England game


The muted atmosphere in Lisbon contrasted with England
Police across England made 83 arrests after fans rioted following England's Euro 2004 loss to France.
Some 400 people were involved in disturbances in Croydon, south London, where police were pelted with missiles and 12 people were arrested.

Another 12 people were arrested in Birmingham after a crowd of 200 caused trouble around the city centre.

This was in sharp contrast to the scene in Lisbon, where England supporters remained peaceful.

One supporter was reportedly arrested for allegedly punching an employee at the Lisbon stadium.

And one was handed a suspended jail term and deported following an earlier attack on a French supporter in Lisbon city centre.

Police in Croydon said disturbances there erupted at about 2215 BST on Sunday and continued for about an hour.

Missiles

Two police officers suffered minor injuries and several police vehicles were damaged.

Supt Nick Jupp, of Croydon Police, condemned the violence, saying: "It is totally unacceptable for police officers to be injured as a result of a small minority of people reacting to a football result in this manner."


Fans were stunned by the team's reversal of fortunes
In Birmingham, police had to close off parts of Broad Street for 45 minutes after disturbances broke out at about 2150 BST.

One man was taken to hospital with minor injuries.


The violence involved fans who had been watching the match on a big screen in the city's Centenary Square.

Damage was caused to several pubs, a bus and various hoardings, while several people played football in the main carriageway of Broad Street which led to the road closure.


There were 17 arrests in Wakefield, West Yorkshire, and 31 across Hertfordshire.


And a further 11 were held after two police cars were set alight in Boston, Lincs, and a group of up to 60 people threw bricks and bottles at police.


By contrast, the atmosphere in Lisbon was relatively muted, with many fans still in shock after losing the match in the final minute.

Of the 30,000 England fans thought to have descended on the city, most either gathered in bars to commiserate peacefully or else returned to their lodgings for an early night.

The mood contrasted with the scenes on Sunday afternoon before then game, when hordes of expectant red and white-clad fans brought a festival atmosphere as they gathered for the match in venues around Portugal's capital.

Branson crosses channel in a CAR

Branson sets cross-Channel record


The Aquada can reach speeds of 30mph in the water
Sir Richard Branson has set the record for the fastest crossing of the English Channel by an amphibious vehicle.
He drove into the Guinness Book of Records on Monday in the Warwickshire-built Gibbs Aquada, crossing in one hour, 40 minutes and six seconds.

The current record of six hours was set by two Frenchmen.

The Virgin Group chief made the Dover to Calais journey as part of celebrations to mark the 20th anniversary of Virgin Atlantic.

It is a great beast - it drives fantastically well on land and then it turns into the most remarkable boat on water

Sir Richard Branson


As he set off from Dover, a fly-past was made by one of the company's Airbus jets.

When he rolled onto ramps placed on the beach at Calais, he was greeted by the town's mayor, reporters and locals.

The Gibbs Aquada, which is manufactured in Nuneaton, looks like a sports car and can reach speeds of more than 100mph on land and 30mph on water.

It takes about 10 seconds for the car's wheels to retract, the power to switch and the boat to take off, according to Gibbs Technologies, the company behind the car.

Ferry waves

The accelerator can then be used as a throttle in the water.

Sir Richard said: "A couple of waves caused by some ferries went straight over the top of us, but otherwise it went really well.

"It is a great beast. It drives fantastically well on land and then it turns into the most remarkable boat on water."

It took seven years of work by 70 engineers and designers at the Gibbs Aquada headquarters to launch the car.

Those who want to buy their own vehicle can expect to pay about Ā£150,000.

things aren't what they seem

After a 10-year study with a global positioning satellite system (reported in February), researchers at England's Oxford University concluded that homing pigeons do not get their bearings from the sun, as previously thought, but rather just follow roads and highways home. (2) Mr. Jian Feng, of Hegang in northern China, suspicious when his wife gave birth to a baby he regarded as seriously ugly, got her to admit that, though she was not adulterous, she had herself been seriously ugly before she met Jian, but had had major plastic surgery in South Korea and now did not much resemble her genetic look. (Even so, Jian divorced her and in May sued her for fraud.) [BBC News-Reuters, 2-5-04] [South African Press Association-Deutsch Presse-Agentur, 5-19-04]

Put down the sloppy joe or I'll shoot!

WATERBURY, Conn. -- A food fight that started with fruit cup turned into a mealtime melee, serving up a full plate of arrests and injuries.

Seven seventh-graders were arrested after a spat in a middle school cafeteria left two teachers and a detective with injuries Wednesday.

The incident began at West Side Middle School after a girl dumped a fruit cup over a boy's head, police said. The two started fighting, then other students joined in, some jumping on tables and throwing food, police said.

"What was described as a riot situation developed in the cafeteria," Sgt. Christopher Corbett said.

A detective and two teachers suffered minor injuries breaking up the melee.

Three girls and fours boys ranging in age from 12 to 14 were arrested on charges including breach of peace, assault and inciting a riot. All seven were released to their parents after promising to appear in juvenile court.

stephen lautens -funny

By STEPHEN LAUTENS -- Calgary Sun


I just realized that my 14th wedding anniversary is at the end of the month.

These days, I guess that makes us a statistical oddity.

I also looked it up. The traditional present for a 14th wedding anniversary is supposed to be ivory.



Have you ever tried to buy enough paper to wrap an elephant?

There are things you learn being in what is now considered a long-term relationship.

I don't care what the Charter of Rights, the UN or Sheila Copps say, but after 14 years of marriage, I've come to the conclusion that men and women are different.

Let me be careful and emphasize that I'm not saying one is better than the other, but we are different.

For example, men don't understand why women do up the button and zipper of men's pants when they come out of the dryer.

My wife explained that she thought that was how men hung up their pants.

First of all, men don't hang up their pants -- that's what the chair at the end of the bed is for.

And second, it just means you have to unbutton and unzip them to put them on.

Women don't understand how men can keep straight all the remote-controls for the TV, VCR and DVD player.

I keep explaining to my wife it's perfectly simple -- the TV has to be on channel 3, the VCR has to be turned on, then you push the input button on the VCR remote, and then the DVD player has to be ... Forget it.

Men don't understand why women don't want to be fooling around all the time. Men judge all activities by the single standard of "how does this compare to fooling around?"

Scrapbooking? This is valuable time we could be spending fooling around.

Reading the paper? This is valuable time we could be spending fooling around.

Sleeping? This is valuable time we could be spending fooling around.

You get the idea. So when you're busy doing something and we look at you that way, this is what we're thinking. Consider yourselves warned.

Women remember family birthdays, anniversaries and the name of your third cousin's second wife.

They also find and wrap thoughtful presents and frequently forge your name on the card. Your job as a man is to not look too surprised when the relative opens it and thanks you.

Men don't understand why women fold underwear. It's not like anyone is going to see it.

And we just stuff it in the drawer anyway next to the baseball that we hit a home run with in high school and 10 pairs of mismatched socks.

Women buy self-help books, which is odd because usually it is us men who need the help.

Our idea of a self-help book is Everything I Needed to Know I Learned From Captain Kirk with the picture of the bikini-wearing warrior alien gal on the cover.

I think as a man, you can judge how screwed up you are by how tall the stack of self-help and relationship books is on your wife's side of the bed.

A man's idea of a diet is to just stop eating for a while.

It has nothing to do with counting calories, food groups, carbs, proteins or anything else.

It doesn't mean we'll buy low-fat anything or take carrot sticks to work for lunch.

Frankly, we'd rather starve than eat something tasteless, rubbery or has the word "lite" in the name.

And if the man-diet doesn't work, we can always just undo the top button of our pants -- which we have to do anyway because that's the way they come out of the wash.

just a joke :)

The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful. First grade-true story:

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read,

"...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?' The teacher paused, then asked the class, "...And what do you think that man said?"

One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said 'Holy crap! A talking pig!"

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

F*cking villagers vote against name change

F*cking villagers vote against name change

Residents of an Austrian village called F*cking, have voted against changing the name.

The 150 or so people who live in the village debated the issue after roadsigns kept being stolen - many by British tourists.
Spokesman Siegfried Hoeppl, said: "Everyone here knows what it means in English, but for us F*cking is F*cking - and it's going to stay F*cking - even though the signs keep getting stolen."
He said the name came from Mr F*ck and his family who settled in the area 100 years ago, and added "ing", meaning village or settlement.
The villagers didn't find out about the English meaning of the word until Allied soldiers stationed in the region in 1945 pointed out the alternative meaning.
Local newspaper editor Menhardt Buzasa said there had been an increase in the number of signs being stolen, and said British tourists were usually blamed.
"I do not agree it is just the British. F*cking is universal. Germans use it as much now as the British, and it also means the same to the Americans, Australians and anyone in the English speaking world," he said.
Similar votes on a name change have taken place recently in neighbouring Austrian towns Wank am see and Petting, as well as in Vomitville and Windpassing.

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

French president gives lift to lost veteran

A D-Day veteran who got lost on his way back from Sunday's commemorations got a lift back to Paris - from French President Jacques Chirac.
New Zealander Keith Coleman got on the wrong bus after the ceremonies in Normandy and ended up at an airfield where other veterans boarded flights.
Inside the terminal, 86-year-old Mr Coleman said he found a man wearing gold braid.
"I guess he must have felt sorry for me, because he made a few phone calls and told me he thought he could get me back to Paris,"BBC News Online quotes him telling The Guardian.
Mr Coleman was taken to another airfield, where Mr Chirac arrived shortly afterwards.
He said: "He came over... I snapped to attention and gave him a little salute... he put his arm around me. He said he would be happy for me to travel in one of the aeroplanes and gave instructions that I was to be driven to the door of my hotel."