Ireland's dumbest crook

Irish police have told a man dubbed Ireland's dumbest crook to give up his disastrous criminal career before it gets the better of him.
The unnamed man in his 30s has been arrested three times and each heist has brought him closer to the hereafter.

Police took the man into custody and to the hospital at the weekend after he was hit by a lorry while making a getaway from a betting shop robbery, the Irish Sun reported.

He has also been plucked from a chimney where he became stuck while trying to burgle a house, and from the ceiling of a bank where he was pinned by a security device. When they arrived at the bank he was dangling by one leg and stuffing cash into his underpants.

"Go straight before you kill yourself," the Sun quoted Dublin police as having told him.

Dublin police declined to confirm the report.