Joyride home

An 8-year-old boy swiped his teacher's car keys and took her minivan for a joyride, cruising safely home and into the record books as the city's youngest auto thief, police said.

The third-grader told officers he "just wanted to drive around for a while" when he left the James Marshall School on Monday, officer Michael Amarillas told the Modesto Bee newspaper.

The diminutive driver snatched the keys from teacher Caren Brady's purse when she turned her back to the class. In order to operate the Dodge Caravan, he raised the driver's seat, lowered the steering wheel, adjusted the rearview mirror and turned off the radio.

"This is the smallest child you can ever imagine," said Brady, who noticed her vehicle missing a couple of hours after school, according to the paper. "I don't think this kid is four feet tall. He's tiny; he's the tiniest kid in the class."

The boy, whose identity was not released, was suspended from school, Brady said. Nothing was damaged and no one was hurt. Police said they would not charge him with a crime.

A neighbour saw the boy driving and called police. Officers found the van parked in front of the house, which is about a kilometre from the school. They lectured the boy after interviewing him.

"You can't do anything but laugh," said Brady, who spent 90 minutes Tuesday teaching other pupils about the consequences of choices they make. She said she would not let the boy return to her class, according to the Bee.

$10m slot jackpot

For 84-year-old Josephine Crawford, the golden years just got a lot more golden.

After a night playing the slot machines, the retired waitress was about to call it quits Tuesday when she hit a $10 million US jackpot, the biggest in the history of casino gambling in Atlantic City.

Crawford, who gambles here twice a week, has been going to the casinos since the first one opened in 1978. She had never won more than $1,000 before she came into the big money at the nickel slots at Harrah's Atlantic City.

The widow from Galloway Township lives with her daughter, drives a 2006 Honda Civic and has no plans to buy a new car or a new house. But she always wanted to see Italy, where her parents grew up, and wants to share the wealth with her two daughters, five grandchildren and three great-grandchildren.

"Somehow, I'll spend it. I'll spend it at the casino, and I might go to Vegas," she said.

The jackpot was won on a progressive slot machine linked to hundreds of others in Atlantic City's 12 casinos. The previous biggest Atlantic City jackpot was $8.5 million, won in 1994.

Crawford was playing alongside her 27-year-old granddaughter Alicia Weeks. After spending about $20 with no luck, Weeks suggested they move on. Crawford said no, she wanted to play $20 more. She was down to her last $5 in credits when she hit the jackpot.

It didn't take long for word of her luck to spread. Three men proposed to her, she said.

"Their wives were there, too!" Crawford said. "One of them told me, 'You can have him!' "

Auf weidersehen Deutschmarks

A German pensioner flushed bundles of old banknotes worth a small fortune down the toilet because he thought they were now worthless.

"He flushed the cash down the loo because he didn't think it was worth anything," said police spokesman Uwe Voigt.

Police said he dumped some 60,000 deutschemarks - which the euro replaced in 2002 - into the bowl, unaware they could still be exchanged for about 30,000 euros ($49,785).

Sewage workers recovered about half the sodden currency from the 64-year-old's plumbing.

The remaining notes created a bottleneck in local sewers, where most were fished out.

"There may have been more cash that got away," said Mr Voigt.

Police said the man lived in "spartan" circumstances and had dried out the notes and taken them to a bank.

It was unclear if he had laundered the money first.

JCB Speedster

A vehicle designed to try to break the diesel land speed record will be unveiled on Thursday.

Staffordshire-based JCB has been working on a machine that will travel at more than 300mph (482kph).

The yellow and black streamlined car is nine metres long (29.5ft) and contains two modified versions of a standard JCB engine.

Later in the summer it will be tested on salt flat in the US to try and break the current record of 235mph (878kph).

The car will be driven by wing commander Andy Green, who set the first supersonic land speed record at 763mph (1227kph) in 1997.

How old is one ?

The Queen of England, Queen Elizabeth II, invited 99 guests to Buckingham Palace in London on Wednesday, and she didn't need to ask anyone's age.

All shared the Queen's birth date - 21 April 1926.

The Queen laid on a three-course meal in the grand Palace Ballroom for 70 women and 29 men who, like her, will celebrate their 80th birthday on Friday.The main course of filet de boeuf bordelaise being served on a royal silver dinner service normally reserved for state banquets.

The guests were to dine around 20 tables inside the royal home, with some seated next to the Queen or her husband, the Duke of Edinburgh.

They were also be invited to a drink in the palace's Picture Gallery before lunch.

Speaking at the start of their special birthday lunch, the Queen welcomed her "twins," and wished them a happy birthday.

"Thank you for coming today and I hope all of you, and all those of you who are my exact twins, will make the most of our special day on Friday. A happy birthday to all," she said.

She insisted they, her included, should give thanks for their "health," "happiness," the "support they receive from our families and friends," "wonderful memories" and the "excitement that each new day brings."

The banquet guests were nominated by themselves or relatives, and were selected in a ballot earlier in the year.
John Forrester, who had travelled from Australia, was rewarded with a seat next to the Queen at the lunch. He described her as the "most natural person in the world", adding that she would "endear herself to anybody and everybody".

"You look back over your life and say 'when have I bettered it?' Well, when I got married, when I had kids, yes, but beyond that this has to be the top of the tree."

The Queen will spend her 80th birthday at Windsor Castle, where Prince Charles will host a family dinner.

G'day to Indian Techs !

Call center workers in India are having nervous breakdowns after being abused by fed-up Australians – but they aren't getting much sympathy.

Millions of people are employed in India's fast-growing call-center industry, famous for maddening calls at dinner time in Australia.

For some of the workers, abuse and overnight working hours are contributing to stress, sleeping disorders, fatigue and migraines.

A survey of Mumbai call centers found most call-center workers suffer from burn-out stress syndrome.

The abuse included racial taunts, the Global South Research Group survey found.

"Racial abuse by foreign customers is a job hazard that most employees have to deal with," a report on the survey says.

"The US and Australia are the worst abusers," said Vino Shetty, from his Young Professionals Collective office in Mumbai.

"Australian accents – especially in working-class areas – are very difficult to understand.

"The Australians then get frustrated because they are not being understood and when they realise the call is from India their anger gets worse.

"They can feel that jobs are being taken away from Australians and if they recently have been out of a job themselves, the abuse escalates," he said.

But Queensland Consumers' Association spokeswoman Cherie Dalley said Australians were reacting to phone calls because they were at "ridiculous" times.

"Australians are tired of having their privacy interrupted by people trying to sell them things they didn't want in the first place," she said.

James Organ, director of Australian research organisation Callcentres.net, said "lots of poor innocent Indian workers" were abused regularly by Australians.

"Some companies are regretting outsourcing this business to India because of the damage it does to their products' reputation," he said.

"Its a cultural thing – the moment an Australian suspects the call is coming from India they can get uptight.

"Yet in the UK, where they are used to interacting with Indian people, there's not so much negative reaction."

Mr Organ's group estimates Indian call centers account for 50 million calls to Australian homes each year – one fifth of the total telemarketing calls made. "Everyone has a story of how they were called by someone in Mumbai," he said.

Outsourcing of telemarketing and other business began about seven years ago when companies found it was cheaper to hire people in India, the Philippines and Malaysia to sell mobile phone plans, financial services, insurance and credit cards.


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9 x life + 109 years ban

The UK's worst driver was being bars last night after being banned from the roads for nine lifetimes plus 109 years.

John Williamson, 40, was locked up for 14 months yesterday after he admitted defying eight previous life bans for drinking and driving.

In 2000, Williamson was branded the worst driver "in Scotland, if not the UK", after earning his sixth life ban.

At the time, he claimed he only got behind the wheel when he was drunk.

He also claimed he had never caused an accident - shortly before smashing into a police car.

At Perth Sheriff Court yesterday, Williamson was banned for life for the ninth time after he admitted driving while disqualified and with no insurance.

He was banned for another 10 years when he admitted failing to give a breath sample to police - bringing his running total to 109 years on top of the life bans.

After being arrested in Blairgowrie, Perthshire, in January, Williamson spat on civilian police worker Stephen Ritchie.

Fiscal depute Anne Hart told the court: "The police got information that he was driving under the influence. They saw the accused driving very slowly. He was seen to pull into a parking area. They recognised the accused as a disqualified driver. The vehicle was stationary and he was locked within it.Access to the driver was gained and he was informed he was under arrest. There was a strong smell of alcohol from him."

Solicitor Steve Lafferty, defending, said: "It is fair to say he has a shocking record in relation to traffic offences. He accepts he drove his father's car. He accepts he ought not to have entered the vehicle. He has a somewhat slender recollection of matters."

Sheriff Lindsay Foulis told Williamson: "You have an appalling record."

Williamson was last jailed in 2004 after WPC Melanie Norrie had to leap to safety as he drunkenly crashed into her car.

Even then he refused to stop and led officers on a two-mile chase through the centre of Blairgowrie.

Rubgy fans lose city ?

An exodus of rugby fans from Limerick in Ireland threatens its status as a city, and the European funding that goes with it, when a population census is taken Sunday.

Diarmuid Scully, mayor of Limerick in western Ireland, told Reuters as many as 20,000 fans could follow the regional team Munster to Dublin Sunday for the Heineken Cup semi-final against Leinster.

Many could stay on to celebrate -- or to drown their sorrows -- knocking Limerick's population of 54,000 below a crucial threshold of 50,000, he added.

"At the time April 23 was picked, it probably seemed like a quiet night," he told Reuters. "Unfortunately for Limerick people, quite a lot of us won't be at home that night. Quite a number would stay on to celebrate if it's a Munster victory."

Scully called on Limerick rugby fans to return home after the match.

"Should the population drop below 50,000, then Limerick wouldn't be considered a city anymore by European standards, and we'd actually lose out in terms of European funding," he added.

Scully said census rules allowed forms to be completed on the following Monday morning, and he called on census officials to be lenient.

"I'm asking for a flexible interpretation of the morning -- let morning stretch throughout the day," he said. "Let it stretch until midnight."

Wacky Racers

A pair of real-life wacky racers from Sheffield are preparing to do an 8,000 mile car race in a 10-year-old Nissan Micra in aid of charity.

The daring junior doctors will make the mad dash from London to Mongolia in late July with 200 other cars as part of the Mongol Rally - the world's most extreme car challenge.
And in the same tradition of cartoon characters Dick Dastardly and Muttley, not only do the rules of the rally state that no car may have an engine over one litre, but there is no detailed route to follow or a support team on hand if - or rather when - things go a bit wrong.
But for team 'Cannonball Hun' - with Andrew the 'Atilla' Hogg and James the 'Hun' Hatcher - the uncertainty of travelling across one quarter of the earth's surface in a car with 140,000 miles already on the clock is all part of the appeal.
"I thought it might be a good adventure," said 26-year-old Andrew, from Crookes.
"I wanted to do something a bit different before I have to settle down. It will be something to tell my grandkids and hopefully we can raise lots of money."
The friends, who both studied medicine at Sheffield University, have not yet finalised their route and there is some disagreement whether they want to risk driving through Iran.
While Andrew thinks it is probably not the best time to visit, James, also 26, said he thought it might be fun.
"I quite fancy Iran but the southern route is a bit dodgy," he said.
But whether the car makes it as far as that is questionable.
"This is a highly toned, well oiled machine," said Andrew.
"But it has got a little bit of rust and does need a bit of work. The fan has to be fixed and we need some all-terrain tyres and spotlights put on, as the countries we will be going through will put the car through a lot of stress through deserts, forests and mountains.
"Half the fun is breaking down and meeting people in the process. If your car doesn't break down something has gone wrong!
"When you do, you just hire a couple of camels and carry on! The whole purpose of the rally is to provide a bit of a challenge."
And the pair are doing away with modern technology.
"We're not taking satellite navigation equipment," said James, from Broomhill.
"It's illegal in Russia, and it would feel like cheating. But I'm definitely going to buy a map and compass even though the map will be useless once we get into Mongolia and head for the capital, Ulaan Baatar. Maps in Mongolia are notorious for not tallying with the actual roads - it's best to ask a local.
"I'm going to get key phrases written out in Russian and practice my universal sign language.
"I'm slightly apprehensive but pretty damn excited and its in aid of good causes."
The pair are hoping to raise more than £1,000 to be split between children's, agricultural and wildlife charities.
Anyone who would like to act as a sponsor or make a donation of money, car parts, camping equipment or raffle prizes should contact team Cannonball Hun by emailing AndrewHogg@doctors.org.uk.

Daiquiri for kids

UK _ A FURIOUS Sheffield mum has slammed a restaurant after her six-year-old son became ill when he accidentally drank an alcoholic cocktail.
Kent Di-Nitto was sick and dizzy after drinking most of what he thought was a booze-free Strawberry Daiquiri from the children's drinks menu at Damon's Restaurant, in Sevenairs Road, Beighton.
Today angry mum Paula told The Star: "If my son had been two years old, not six, then he could be dead.
"The problem is the children's cocktails have the same name as those for adults. It's ridiculous. They should change the name of the children's cocktails, otherwise this could happen again and the consequences could be even worse."
Kent became ill minutes after finishing the drink which was bought by a 12-year-old friend during his mum's 35th birthday meal.
The terrified adults in the party sipped the cocktail to check for booze and demanded bread and water from the waitress to soak up the alcohol.
Paula, from Woodhouse, even phoned the police but was told the restaurant hadn't committed a criminal offence because Kent hadn't physically bought the drink and it was down to human error. She later phoned NHS Direct, who told her to check Kent regularly during the night. He has now made a full recovery.
Paula said: "We used to go to the restaurant quite a lot but we won't be going back now."
Damon's Restaurant manager Lee Foulston said: "It was a mistake on behalf of the person who took the order and we are investigating the matter.
"The drink was originally bought by a 12-year-old girl but she didn't like the taste and, for whatever reason, it was given to the six-year-old.
"The children's cocktails are clearly marked with the word 'Virgin' so we would argue that the adults' and children's drinks do not have the same name."

Shorts robbery

Fairfield, California - A man wearing only black undershorts robbed a convenience store early Tuesday, Fairfield police said.

Officials said the man entered the 7-Eleven store at 1231 Tabor Ave. at around 12:30 a.m.He walked behind the counter and demanded that the clerk open the register, police said. The robber took cash and left the store.

The robber was last seen walking south toward Solano Mall. The area was searched, but police could not find the bandit.The robber was also described as Hispanic, about 30 years old and having a ponytail and light mustache.

Duck ban

DUCKS have been banned from a village duck pond.The 16 ducks have been branded pests after killing off other wildlife in the pond.

They have been allowed to stay to rear their chicks this spring, but will then be rounded up and "relocated".

But villagers claim the ducks are a local attraction and children love to go to the pond every day to throw them bread.

Andrew Wigley-Jones, 37, said, "My three-year-old daughter Sophie loves going to see the ducks. They are part of the character of the village and they bring the community together.

"I have met lots of other parents while our children are feeding the ducks."

The mallards were given as a gift to the village of Creigiau, near Cardiff, years ago, and have since bred with wild ducks.

Every spring the proud parent birds can be seen waddling around the pond with their ducklings trailing behind them.

But the community council says the pond is now overrun with ducks, who have munched through all the other wildlife, including frogspawn.

Secretary to the community council Alec Davies said, "There are almost no frogs, newts and sticklebacks in the pond this year. The ducks are destroying the habitat and we have made a decision to relocate them.

"Some children would be distressed, but the greater good would be served."

The ducks will be relocated to a nearby lake later this summer.

Thanks for 25 years service ... you're sacked !

Shirley Ogden was told she was being fired minutes after getting a gold watch for 25 years of loyal service.

Shirley was presented with the gift by managing director Steven Luddington. He praised her as a hard-working and valuable member of staff known for her flexibility.

But with the applause of her colleagues still ringing in her ears, she was then called into Mr Luddington’s office and told she was one of twelve workers on a redundancy list.

And to add insult to injury she learnt that she wasn’t even being considered for another in-house post that was being offered to other staff.

On her redundancy score-card she had been marked down for not being flexible enough. The accounts administrator wept when she finally got home with the gold watch and photos of her presentation in one hand and P45 in the other.

Shirley, 49, said: “I can’t believe how shabbily I have been treated. The way Mr Luddington behaved is exactly like David Brent in The Office. One minute they were giving me a lovely speech telling me what a valued member of the team I was, how loyal, hard-working and flexible I am and how much I’ve achieved in my 25 years of employment.

“And the next they were announcing redundancies with my name on the list. It’s a disgrace.” Shirley, a grandmother with two grown-up children, worked for Hilding Anders UK which owns the Slumberland bedding brand.

The firm’s motto is: “All the support you need — all the comfort you deserve.”

Caged writing

A playwright in search of inspiration for a drama about pandas has spent much of the last week in a cage in a zoo in northern France.

Norbert Aboudarham, 57, has spent 10 hours a day since Thursday in a cage in Amiens Zoo writing The Panda's Flea.

He has had with raccoons, red pandas and wolves, among other fauna, for neighbours.

His work is the third in a series about animals which he began in 2002.

Aboudarham's cage is furnished with a bale of straw and a log on which he perches. He does, however, have a laptop computer hooked up to a mobile phone.

He declines to talk to the public and communicates by way of messages passed through the bars.

He says to write "about the universe, you have to put yourself in a cage smaller than the universe".

"This experiment magnifies characteristics. For example aggressive visitors become a bit more irascible," he said. "I am exhausted because I get a lot of requests. It is much more tiring than I thought."

According to Christine Morrier of Amiens Zoo, a former director of a cultural centre, the experiment is a way of "questioning man about his belonging to nature".

"For the animals it makes no difference at all, In any case they are used to the people who look after them," she said.

She says that Aboudarham, whose stint ends Thursday, has drawn many sightseers.

Why did we lose ? Now don't lie..

Players at a Romanian first division soccer club will be forced to take lie detector tests after losing two matches.

Last week National Bucharest surprisingly lost 1-0 at home against Vaslui and 2-0 at Jiul Petrosani to dent their chances of playing in European competition next season.

"It's about a moral audit which will allow our players to show they played honestly against Vaslui and Petrosani," the club's main shareholder Constantin Iacov said.

"I think it's normal to check your employees from time to time," he added.

"I'll be the first to undergo the polygraph test and the team's coaches soon after me."

On the road again

A woman in northern Portugal has given birth for the second time while being driven to a hospital delivery room, a daily newspaper reports.

The Jornal de Noticias says Maria Duarte, 35, was on her way to a hospital in the city of Vila Real, some 400 kilometres north-east of Lisbon, when she went into labour in an emergency services vehicle.

The vehicle parked on the side of the highway and she then gave birth to a healthy 2.5 kilogram girl with the aid of a doctor, nurse and two young volunteer firefighters who were accompanying her.

"I was afraid she would die. I was even afraid to push," Ms Duarte told the newspaper.

She says that her 10-year-old daughter, Silvia, was born prematurely under similar circumstances.

"I was leaving my home village in my brother's car and she was born, there was no time for anything," she said.

All shook up

Australia _ The organisers of the Parkes Elvis Festival in the central west of NSW are seeking legal advice about changes to the rules surrounding Elvis Presley impersonators.

An American billionaire who owns the rights to the Elvis name and likeness is working to stop "unauthorised" impersonators as part of a plan to open a show and exhibit in Las Vegas dedicated to 'the king'.

More than 5,000 people travel to Parkes each year to see hundreds of Elvis look-a-likes and celebrate his music.

The festival's Monique Kronk says very few details about the shake-up are known but organisers want to ensure it will not threaten the event.

"We've got to discuss not just how it affects the festival itself but ... who are coming in and we don't know quite yet enough about what they are planning to change," she said.

"But obviously we'll have to speak to Elvis Presley Enterprises and maybe we can negotiate some sort of licence that will cover for the whole festival - festival goers coming - we don't know enough yet about the situation."

Pensioner's paint pain

A pensioner and RAF veteran was thrown off a city bus because he was carrying a tin of paint.

Grandad Brian Heale, 73, boarded a No 9 Cardiff Bus on Penarth Road at 9am yesterday with a can of water-based emulsion he had just bought from MA Jones paint store.

He was hoping to travel just two stops, to catch another bus to a friend's house to do some decorating for him. But as he sat down, the driver told him carrying paint might be against company regulations and after a call to head office, Mr Heale was told he had to get off.

Suffering shortness of breath after two heart attacks and unable to make the 20-minute walk to his friend's house in Leckwith, he had to go to a local cafe and get a lift from the manager.

Mr Heale has now branded the ruling 'crazy'.

'It's absolutely hysterical - you won't be able to take a wet umbrella on a bus in case it drips water on the floor next,' said Mr Heale, of Clive Street, Grangetown, a former self-employed decorator, who served with the RAF for 20 years.

'That could be a hazard. I don't understand why water-based emulsion is banned. It isn't a fire hazard. It can be washed away if it's spilled.

'I bought it at 9am and wanted to get the bus to Clare Road to catch another bus to my friend's house in Langham Way, Leckwith.

'I got on and sat down then the bus driver said, 'Excuse me, you're carrying paint, I don't think you can come on with that, it's against regulations'.

'I thought he was joking but he parked the bus while he called head office. Then he told me carrying the paint doesn't meet their new guidelines and I had to get off.

'It was cold and had started to rain. I got off and went back to the Black and White cafe on Penarth Road and the manager gave me a lift.'I just think it's comical. I've carried paint on the buses many times.'

Cardiff Bus said paint was classed as a hazardous article under national public transport guidelines as it could spill and cause accidents. It must be sealed in a pot and in a bag to be carried on buses.

A Cardiff Bus spokesperson said: 'The safety of our passengers is our number one priority which is why the company takes regulations on health and safety very seriously and attempts at all times to adhere to the regulations. However, the company does accept that in certain circumstances more flexibility needs to be displayed and we apologise to the gentleman involved for the obvious inconvenience that this incident caused.'

What's banned on the buses? Cardiff Bus says items classed as hazardous articles which must not be carried on public service vehicles under national guidelines include:

Panes of glass

Gas cylinders

Guns

Open bladed tools

Swords

Petrol

Paraffin

Paint - unless it is carried in two containers ie in a sealed pot and a bag, and is not left unattended on a parcel shelf where it could slide and tip, burst open and spread across the floor.

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