Monday, June 14, 2004

Polygamy rife among town's cops

More than half of the police officers in a US town have more than one wife, an investigation has revealed.
The eight month investigation into police polygamy in Hildade, Utah, was ordered by Attorney General Mark Shurtleff.
He told the Salt Lake Tribune: "Hildale has 13 officers who are certified by Utah, seven by our records are polygamists."
But Shurtleff admitted that none of the seven officers would face criminal charges: "We just don't have the resources to start charging bigamy," he told the paper.
The mayor of Hildale, David Zitter, callied the investigation "a nuisance" and accused Shurtleff of making "a direct assault on polygamy".
"I don't know how you can see it any other way," he said.
The population of Hildale is a stronghold of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, which practices polygamy.
The more well-known Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has disavowed its previous doctrine that polygamy was acceptable.

HARTFORD, Conn. -- You can reasonably bet that Larry Olmsted is pretty sick of seven-card stud.

The Vermont native sat at a poker table at Foxwoods Resort Casino at Mashantucket at 1:22 p.m. Thursday and remained there for the next 72 hours, taking occasional bathroom breaks but never leaving the poker area.

Olmsted's feat was intended to set the record for the longest casino poker session, one that has yet to be certified by Guinness World Records to become official.

"It's not for the girls, and not the money. It's for the glory," Olmsted said.

Under Guinness rules, Olmsted, 38, was required to play almost every hand, except for one 15 minute break every eight hours.

He sat down with $100 in poker chips and ended with around $1,000 in winnings, although he gave most of it away in tips to the Foxwoods staff. He played seven-card stud, with a 50 cent ante and a $1 forced bet with a $5 max.

He ate cheeseburgers and grilled cheese sandwiches at the poker table and drank more than 30 cups of coffee, six ice teas, four strawberry shakes and a couple of spicy Virgin Marys.

Olmsted's concentration waned in the last 12 hours, as did his ability to stay awake.

"I got to a point where I couldn't read the numbers on the cards," he said.

Friday, June 11, 2004

City spending $11,000 on goats to kill weeds

City spending $11,000 on goats to kill weeds

HELENA, Mont. -- This city is going decidedly low-tech get rid of its weed problem.

Officials plan to spend $11,000 to lease 850 goats so they can eat the Dalmatian toadflax, leafy spurge and spotted knapweed that choke Mount Helena.

"If you level the playing field the grass will win. The weeds didn't come in overnight, and we're not going to take care of it overnight," said Joe Dooling of Helena, who owns the goats and leases them to ranchers for weed control.

Helena's weed-control plan includes use of chemicals after the goats leave.

Four years ago, 50 goats were put on Mount Helena in pens covering one and two acres. Those animals escaped a number of times, but the new plan includes having two herders and three dogs keep an eye on the goats.

The city plans a more intensive fight against weeds this time around, keeping the goats on the job for a week or so instead of months. They will be penned at night and will receive water trucked to points nearby.

Dooling said his goats are from Texas, but are quite willing to eat Montana weeds.

"They're more inclined to try things out," he said. "A goat eats 4 percent of his body weight a day."

Guiness verifying if man's 72-hour poker game brakes record

HARTFORD, Conn. -- You can reasonably bet that Larry Olmsted is pretty sick of seven-card stud.

The Vermont native sat at a poker table at Foxwoods Resort Casino at Mashantucket at 1:22 p.m. Thursday and remained there for the next 72 hours, taking occasional bathroom breaks but never leaving the poker area.

Olmsted's feat was intended to set the record for the longest casino poker session, one that has yet to be certified by Guinness World Records to become official.

"It's not for the girls, and not the money. It's for the glory," Olmsted said.

Under Guinness rules, Olmsted, 38, was required to play almost every hand, except for one 15 minute break every eight hours.

He sat down with $100 in poker chips and ended with around $1,000 in winnings, although he gave most of it away in tips to the Foxwoods staff. He played seven-card stud, with a 50 cent ante and a $1 forced bet with a $5 max.

He ate cheeseburgers and grilled cheese sandwiches at the poker table and drank more than 30 cups of coffee, six ice teas, four strawberry shakes and a couple of spicy Virgin Marys.

Olmsted's concentration waned in the last 12 hours, as did his ability to stay awake.

"I got to a point where I couldn't read the numbers on the cards," he said.

The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful. First grade-true story:

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read,

"...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?' The teacher paused, then asked the class, "...And what do you think that man said?"

One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said 'Holy crap! A talking pig!"

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

lake disappears within days


Suburban St. Louis lake vanishes over the course of mere days





WILDWOOD, Mo. (AP) - To folks around Wildwood, it's downright freaky: an entire 9.3-hectare lake vanished in a matter of days, as if someone had pulled the plug on a bathtub.

Lake Chesterfield went down a sinkhole this week, leaving homeowners in this affluent St. Louis suburb wondering if their property values disappeared along with their lakeside views.

"It's real creepy," said Donna Ripp, who lives near what had been Lake Chesterfield. "That lake was 23 acres - no small lake. And to wake up one morning, drive by and it's gone?"

What once was an oasis for waterfowl and sailboats was nothing but a muddy, crackled pit outlined by rotting fish.

The sight had 74-year-old George English scratching his head.

"It's disheartening, getting out on your deck and seeing this," he said as he stood next to wife, Betty, and the lakeside condominium they bought in 1996 for its view. "One day it's a beautiful lake and now, bingo, it's gone."

Some residents said they noticed that the lake, after being swelled by torrential rains weeks earlier, began falling last weekend. The Englishes said they noticed the drop-off Monday.

By Wednesday, the manmade lake - which was up to three metres deep in spots - had been reduced to a mucky, stinking mess.

David Taylor, a geologist who inspected the lakebed Wednesday, told the St. Louis Post-Dispatch that a sinkhole was formed when water eroded the limestone deep underground and created pockets in the rock. The sinkhole was "like a ticking time bomb."

The lake and surrounding housing development date to the late 1980s.




bizzarre accidents

The Bricklayer
1998 Urban Legend
Accident Report
This one needs an introduction, so you won't be lost at the beginning. This man was in an accident at work, so he filled out an insurance claim. The insurance company contacted him and asked for more information. This was his response:

"I am writing in response to your request for additional information, for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient. I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80-foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now unneeded tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using the pulley attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow decent of the 300 pounds of tools."

"You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh only 155 pounds. Due to my surprise of being jerked off the
ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel."
"Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, and the lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind. I let go of the rope..."

England fans riot in England -alls well in Portugal

Trouble erupts after England game


The muted atmosphere in Lisbon contrasted with England
Police across England made 83 arrests after fans rioted following England's Euro 2004 loss to France.
Some 400 people were involved in disturbances in Croydon, south London, where police were pelted with missiles and 12 people were arrested.

Another 12 people were arrested in Birmingham after a crowd of 200 caused trouble around the city centre.

This was in sharp contrast to the scene in Lisbon, where England supporters remained peaceful.

One supporter was reportedly arrested for allegedly punching an employee at the Lisbon stadium.

And one was handed a suspended jail term and deported following an earlier attack on a French supporter in Lisbon city centre.

Police in Croydon said disturbances there erupted at about 2215 BST on Sunday and continued for about an hour.

Missiles

Two police officers suffered minor injuries and several police vehicles were damaged.

Supt Nick Jupp, of Croydon Police, condemned the violence, saying: "It is totally unacceptable for police officers to be injured as a result of a small minority of people reacting to a football result in this manner."


Fans were stunned by the team's reversal of fortunes
In Birmingham, police had to close off parts of Broad Street for 45 minutes after disturbances broke out at about 2150 BST.

One man was taken to hospital with minor injuries.


The violence involved fans who had been watching the match on a big screen in the city's Centenary Square.

Damage was caused to several pubs, a bus and various hoardings, while several people played football in the main carriageway of Broad Street which led to the road closure.


There were 17 arrests in Wakefield, West Yorkshire, and 31 across Hertfordshire.


And a further 11 were held after two police cars were set alight in Boston, Lincs, and a group of up to 60 people threw bricks and bottles at police.


By contrast, the atmosphere in Lisbon was relatively muted, with many fans still in shock after losing the match in the final minute.

Of the 30,000 England fans thought to have descended on the city, most either gathered in bars to commiserate peacefully or else returned to their lodgings for an early night.

The mood contrasted with the scenes on Sunday afternoon before then game, when hordes of expectant red and white-clad fans brought a festival atmosphere as they gathered for the match in venues around Portugal's capital.


Branson crosses channel in a CAR

Branson sets cross-Channel record


The Aquada can reach speeds of 30mph in the water
Sir Richard Branson has set the record for the fastest crossing of the English Channel by an amphibious vehicle.
He drove into the Guinness Book of Records on Monday in the Warwickshire-built Gibbs Aquada, crossing in one hour, 40 minutes and six seconds.

The current record of six hours was set by two Frenchmen.

The Virgin Group chief made the Dover to Calais journey as part of celebrations to mark the 20th anniversary of Virgin Atlantic.

It is a great beast - it drives fantastically well on land and then it turns into the most remarkable boat on water

Sir Richard Branson


As he set off from Dover, a fly-past was made by one of the company's Airbus jets.

When he rolled onto ramps placed on the beach at Calais, he was greeted by the town's mayor, reporters and locals.

The Gibbs Aquada, which is manufactured in Nuneaton, looks like a sports car and can reach speeds of more than 100mph on land and 30mph on water.

It takes about 10 seconds for the car's wheels to retract, the power to switch and the boat to take off, according to Gibbs Technologies, the company behind the car.

Ferry waves

The accelerator can then be used as a throttle in the water.

Sir Richard said: "A couple of waves caused by some ferries went straight over the top of us, but otherwise it went really well.

"It is a great beast. It drives fantastically well on land and then it turns into the most remarkable boat on water."

It took seven years of work by 70 engineers and designers at the Gibbs Aquada headquarters to launch the car.

Those who want to buy their own vehicle can expect to pay about £150,000.




things aren't what they seem

After a 10-year study with a global positioning satellite system (reported in February), researchers at England's Oxford University concluded that homing pigeons do not get their bearings from the sun, as previously thought, but rather just follow roads and highways home. (2) Mr. Jian Feng, of Hegang in northern China, suspicious when his wife gave birth to a baby he regarded as seriously ugly, got her to admit that, though she was not adulterous, she had herself been seriously ugly before she met Jian, but had had major plastic surgery in South Korea and now did not much resemble her genetic look. (Even so, Jian divorced her and in May sued her for fraud.) [BBC News-Reuters, 2-5-04] [South African Press Association-Deutsch Presse-Agentur, 5-19-04]

Put down the sloppy joe or I'll shoot!

WATERBURY, Conn. -- A food fight that started with fruit cup turned into a mealtime melee, serving up a full plate of arrests and injuries.

Seven seventh-graders were arrested after a spat in a middle school cafeteria left two teachers and a detective with injuries Wednesday.

The incident began at West Side Middle School after a girl dumped a fruit cup over a boy's head, police said. The two started fighting, then other students joined in, some jumping on tables and throwing food, police said.

"What was described as a riot situation developed in the cafeteria," Sgt. Christopher Corbett said.

A detective and two teachers suffered minor injuries breaking up the melee.

Three girls and fours boys ranging in age from 12 to 14 were arrested on charges including breach of peace, assault and inciting a riot. All seven were released to their parents after promising to appear in juvenile court.

stephen lautens -funny

By STEPHEN LAUTENS -- Calgary Sun


I just realized that my 14th wedding anniversary is at the end of the month.

These days, I guess that makes us a statistical oddity.

I also looked it up. The traditional present for a 14th wedding anniversary is supposed to be ivory.



Have you ever tried to buy enough paper to wrap an elephant?

There are things you learn being in what is now considered a long-term relationship.

I don't care what the Charter of Rights, the UN or Sheila Copps say, but after 14 years of marriage, I've come to the conclusion that men and women are different.

Let me be careful and emphasize that I'm not saying one is better than the other, but we are different.

For example, men don't understand why women do up the button and zipper of men's pants when they come out of the dryer.

My wife explained that she thought that was how men hung up their pants.

First of all, men don't hang up their pants -- that's what the chair at the end of the bed is for.

And second, it just means you have to unbutton and unzip them to put them on.

Women don't understand how men can keep straight all the remote-controls for the TV, VCR and DVD player.

I keep explaining to my wife it's perfectly simple -- the TV has to be on channel 3, the VCR has to be turned on, then you push the input button on the VCR remote, and then the DVD player has to be ... Forget it.

Men don't understand why women don't want to be fooling around all the time. Men judge all activities by the single standard of "how does this compare to fooling around?"

Scrapbooking? This is valuable time we could be spending fooling around.

Reading the paper? This is valuable time we could be spending fooling around.

Sleeping? This is valuable time we could be spending fooling around.

You get the idea. So when you're busy doing something and we look at you that way, this is what we're thinking. Consider yourselves warned.

Women remember family birthdays, anniversaries and the name of your third cousin's second wife.

They also find and wrap thoughtful presents and frequently forge your name on the card. Your job as a man is to not look too surprised when the relative opens it and thanks you.

Men don't understand why women fold underwear. It's not like anyone is going to see it.

And we just stuff it in the drawer anyway next to the baseball that we hit a home run with in high school and 10 pairs of mismatched socks.

Women buy self-help books, which is odd because usually it is us men who need the help.

Our idea of a self-help book is Everything I Needed to Know I Learned From Captain Kirk with the picture of the bikini-wearing warrior alien gal on the cover.

I think as a man, you can judge how screwed up you are by how tall the stack of self-help and relationship books is on your wife's side of the bed.

A man's idea of a diet is to just stop eating for a while.

It has nothing to do with counting calories, food groups, carbs, proteins or anything else.

It doesn't mean we'll buy low-fat anything or take carrot sticks to work for lunch.

Frankly, we'd rather starve than eat something tasteless, rubbery or has the word "lite" in the name.

And if the man-diet doesn't work, we can always just undo the top button of our pants -- which we have to do anyway because that's the way they come out of the wash.

just a joke :)

The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful. First grade-true story:

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read,

"...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?' The teacher paused, then asked the class, "...And what do you think that man said?"

One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said 'Holy crap! A talking pig!"

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

Thursday, June 10, 2004

F*cking villagers vote against name change

F*cking villagers vote against name change

Residents of an Austrian village called F*cking, have voted against changing the name.

The 150 or so people who live in the village debated the issue after roadsigns kept being stolen - many by British tourists.
Spokesman Siegfried Hoeppl, said: "Everyone here knows what it means in English, but for us F*cking is F*cking - and it's going to stay F*cking - even though the signs keep getting stolen."
He said the name came from Mr F*ck and his family who settled in the area 100 years ago, and added "ing", meaning village or settlement.
The villagers didn't find out about the English meaning of the word until Allied soldiers stationed in the region in 1945 pointed out the alternative meaning.
Local newspaper editor Menhardt Buzasa said there had been an increase in the number of signs being stolen, and said British tourists were usually blamed.
"I do not agree it is just the British. F*cking is universal. Germans use it as much now as the British, and it also means the same to the Americans, Australians and anyone in the English speaking world," he said.
Similar votes on a name change have taken place recently in neighbouring Austrian towns Wank am see and Petting, as well as in Vomitville and Windpassing.

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

French president gives lift to lost veteran

A D-Day veteran who got lost on his way back from Sunday's commemorations got a lift back to Paris - from French President Jacques Chirac.
New Zealander Keith Coleman got on the wrong bus after the ceremonies in Normandy and ended up at an airfield where other veterans boarded flights.
Inside the terminal, 86-year-old Mr Coleman said he found a man wearing gold braid.
"I guess he must have felt sorry for me, because he made a few phone calls and told me he thought he could get me back to Paris,"BBC News Online quotes him telling The Guardian.
Mr Coleman was taken to another airfield, where Mr Chirac arrived shortly afterwards.
He said: "He came over... I snapped to attention and gave him a little salute... he put his arm around me. He said he would be happy for me to travel in one of the aeroplanes and gave instructions that I was to be driven to the door of my hotel."

Monday, May 31, 2004

May 2004 Archives

Tailor's bird has customers in stitches

A brainy cockatiel has learnt to sew after watching his owner working in a tailor's shop.

The nine-year-old bird called Baggio learnt how to stitch by copying Jack Territo.

The pet can now pick up a pin and thread it through the material with his beak.
Mr Territo, 60, who runs a tailor's shop in Park Street, Bristol, said: "I've never heard of a bird that can stitch but Baggio has a great sewing action.
"He has become a real hit with our customers."
Baggio is to appear on a new BBC1 talent show, Test Your Pet, next week.
The show is hosted by Rolf Harris, who is hoping to find Britain's smartest pet.
Mr Territo is confident his cockatiel will impress viewers with his needlework skills.
"When people see what he can do, I think he will be top billing. Other animals can do tricks but this bird can sew. There is no competition."
Viewers will decide in a phone poll vote which pet takes the title of Britain's smartest.


Brits get frisky in public

Over half of British adults have had sex in a public place, a new survey has found.
According to Sky the annual sex poll by FHM also found that 56% of men and women admitted to having been unfaithful in a relationship.
One in three women said they had faked their orgasms, while nearly a third of British men and 38% of British women said they had lost their virginity at 16 or under.
Commenting on the results, sex therapist Denise Knowles said about sex in public spaces: "People are all looking for that buzz and adrenaline in all aspects of their lives.
"The idea of getting caught out has always been in the fantasy books."
The relationship expert added that she was not surprised at the number of people who had been unfaithful.
"It's obvious that unfaithful behaviour has increased greatly over the years. There is more and more opportunity for affairs, with people going out more, and women going out to work.
"There is also a more relaxed attitude to sex and infidelity, and that kind of cocktail means more people are going to be unfaithful."

Woman offering house as a prize

A woman is offering people the chance to win her £180,000 house for £1.
According to the Daily Record, Joan Miller is charging people £1 to enter a competition to think up a slogan for her website www.houseforapound.com.
The four-bedroom house, in Swindon, Wiltshire, will be listed on the website for eight weeks.
If the money from entries is higher than the reserve price, Joan will keep the money and the person judged to have the best slogan will win the house.
If the level of entries is insufficient, Joan will keep her house and the person with the best slogan will win all the money form entries, minus a 20 per cent fee.

Bank couldn't give money away

A British bank was shocked to find it could not even give away money.
The branch of Barclays Bank, in Croydon, London, put up a sign offering a £5 note to anyone who stepped inside to collect it.
But bank officials told the BBC that no-one took up the offer.
The experiment, carried out for two hours one day in January, was to help Barclays understand "what engages customers as they walk past branches".
A spokeswoman for the bank said: "The basic conclusion that we came to was that people would much rather look at shops that are selling dresses than financial services.
"Obviously we are always looking for better ways to engage with our customers."
She stressed the experiment was a one-off.

tooth in head

A Rugby League player had a tooth enmbedded in his head after he was examined by a physio, after a recent Rugby League Match Castleford Tigers v Wigan ..... he just thought it was a head wound .so played on.!..... and you think American football is a tough game ?...padded up pouffes !

Woman, 97, handcuffed for motoring offence

Police in Dallas handcuffed a 97-year-old woman and took her to jail for a minor motoring offence.
Dolly Kelton was driving to a beauty shop when she noticed flashing lights in her rear-view mirror.
She was pulled over and arrested because she had failed to pay a fine for an expired car registration sticker.
The Dallas Morning News says local police have a no exceptions policy and everyone gets treated the same.
Police officers arrest, handcuff and jail all offenders - even people accused of minor traffic offences.
She was in police custody for about two hours before her attorney arrived and she was released.
Mrs Kelton said she had an unblemished 80-year driving record but accepts the blame and doesn't fault the police for doing their duty.
However, she added: "I think it's still stupid and uncalled for. They ought to be out on the street arresting criminals, not poor, aged ladies."

That's shorn it! Fleece cut after six years

A sheep which evaded humans for six years in New Zealand's Central Otago Mountains has been shorn in front of a live television audience.

According to Sky Shrek's fleece weighed in at 27.5kg and was removed by former world champion sheep shearer Peter Casserley.
Mr Casserley used an old-fashioned pair of cutting blades to remove the fleece, described as "rock hard" in places.
Shrek looked a little disorientated when the shearing was over, but seemed to adjust to his new shape quickly.
Strands of the fleece, measuring around 380mm in length, are being sold off in specially-marked boxes, with interested parties from around the world having put in bids for a woolly memento.
A limited amount of clothing made from the fleece will also be sold and all money raised from the auction of Shrek's wool will go to cancer-fighting charity Cure Kids.


Food, Tea, Queen Make Us British

LONDON - What makes Britons British? Fish and chips, drinking tea and the queen, according to them.
The Beatles, a traditional cooked breakfast of sausages and eggs and Buckingham Palace also made a list published Tuesday of people, places and pastimes that define Britain.

Top of the 100 Distinctly British Greats list was food — fish and chips tied with roast beef and Yorkshire pudding for first place, each nominated by 73 percent of people.

Queen Elizabeth II was in third place, chosen by 64 percent of voters, followed by Buckingham Palace in fourth with 58 percent.

Next came the cooked English breakfast (56 percent), The Beatles and the Houses of Parliament (both 55 percent), chain store Marks & Spencer (53 percent), the master painter Constable (52 percent) and drinking tea (51 percent).

Other things that made the list were traits such as queuing, keeping a stiff upper lip and an unwillingness to tackle foreign languages.

The list of 100 candidates was chosen by a panel for Tanqueray gin and pollsters TNS RSGB asked 1,000 people to choose three each from a list of 10 categories: public figures, national traits and cultural modes, music, actors, film and television, food and drink, icons and national symbols, artists, buildings and landscapes, and brands.

Tank driver fined for speeding

An Austrian soldier has been fined for speeding in a tank on a military exercise.
The tank driver was fined the equivalent of £13 for driving the 25-ton tank at 40 mph in a 30 mph zone.
He had to pay the money out of his own pocket - even though he was engaged in an anti-terrorism exercise at the time.
The soldier was pulled over by police officers in the village of St Michael in the South of the country.


Plush hotel picked for poor area funding meeting

Bristol City Council has scored an own goal by booking a plush hotel for a meeting about giving grants to poor areas.
The choice of the Hotel du Vin has been described as insensitive by Liberal Democrat Councillor John Kiely.
The briefing is to give "key decision-makers" a rundown on a programme of European funding that aims to give financial help to community groups in deprived areas.
The council has said "with the benefit of hindsight", the choice of venue was inappropriate.
Councillor Kiely said he'd be attending to hear what was said, but would boycott the buffet lunch at £16.50 per head.
The Bristol Evening Post reports that 20 to 25 people are expected to attend, with the total cost of between £500 and £600 being split between the European Union and the council.

Rampant Rhino Gets Amorous with Car

LONDON - A rampant rhinoceros gave a group of visitors a glimpse of nature in the raw at a British safari park when he tried to have sex with their car.

Sharka, a two-ton white rhino, got amorous with Dave Alsop's car when he stopped with three friends to take pictures of the animal mating with his partner Trixie at the West Midland Safari Park.

The 12-year-old rhino tried to mount the Renault Laguna from the side, denting the doors and ripping off the wing mirrors before Dave drove away with a puffing Sharka in pursuit.

"He was a big boy and obviously aroused," Alsop told the Sun newspaper on Thursday. "He sidled up against us. The next thing I know he's banging away at the car and it's rocking like hell."

A spokeswoman for the park, which says "rhinos are not particularly intelligent animals" on its Web site, said Sharka was a hit with the female rhinos and had fathered two calves in the last five years.


"He's got a bit of a reputation this lad and he was obviously at it again," she added.

Lawyer says client's rooster owned drugs

A lawyer has told a court in the Philippines that drugs found in a rooster's cage belonged by the bird and not his client.
Manuel Urbina said defendant Francisco Armando Rivera didn't own the 67kg of cocaine or the gun that was found in the cage.
Urbina argued in the court in Managua that the rooster and two hens owned the drugs and the weapon. Rivera was arrested and charged with cocaine possession.
Prosecutors however have dismissed the claim as "absurd and impertinent," reports Australia's Herald Sun.
Urbina said: "The drugs were in the possession of a rooster and two hens and the law is very clear that whoever is in possession of the drugs is the one who should be accused."
Urbina said the prosecution must prove that the drugs actually belonged to his client.
Attorney General Julio Centeno called the defence case "an absurd joke."
Teen must wear blindfold outside shop he stole from

Blindfold Justice

A teenager caught stealing adult videos from a shop in Painesville, Ohio, has had an unusual punishment handed down by a judge.
NewsChannel5says Jeremy Sherwood will have to stand outside the shop for four hours while wearing a blindfold.
He was found guilty of theft by Judge Michael Cicconetti, who is known for handing out unusual sentences.
He originally sentenced Sherwood to 60 days in jail, suspending 30 of those days. He also sentenced him to 12 months of probation and 15 hours of community service.
Sherwood was given the choice of serving the 30 days in jail or graduating from his high school and standing in front of the video store.
The teenager chose the more unusual sentence which he will serve on Saturday.

Dog had 28 golf balls in stomach

A German Shepherd has had an operation to remove 28 golf balls from her stomach.
Libby's owner Mike Wardrop couldn't understand why his dog had gone off her food and was losing weight.
It was only when he took her to the vet did he find out the reason why. Apparently she'd been swallowing the balls while being walked near the putting greens at Didsbury Golf Club in Manchester where Mr Wardrop works.
He said: "I was absolutely gobsmacked when the vets said they had found 28. To see all those golf balls at once was a staggering sight and they weighed over six pounds, so it was no wonder Libby wasn't feeling well.
"The vets gave every ball back to me. They were slightly discoloured but otherwise in great condition and will be great for practice."
It took two-and-a-half hours to get the golf balls out of the dog's stomach and they even placed bets on how many they would find, says the Daily Record.
Vet John Ford said: "We didn't even need to X-ray her she was clanking and we could feel them in her stomach."


'Darling' banned for new workers at English National Opera

New employees at English National Opera have been banned from using the word "darling" when addressing their colleagues.
The ENO is enforcing government guidelines on sexual discrimination at work.
It bans "suggestive remarks or lewd conduct that denigrates or ridicules or is intimidatory or physically abusive of an employee because of their sex, which is derogatory, or insults which are gender related".
It continues: "The use of affectionate names such as 'darling' will also constitute sexual harassment."
New staff who breach the guidelines can expect to be disciplined, reports The Times. A spokesman said: "Existing staff who call each other 'darling' can continue to do so but, if someone started here on Monday, they could not."

Huge win for small bet

Dorset punter has landed a massive £878,939 - with just a £2 bet.
The mystery man backed six horses on Saturday, then watched as they all won at overall odds of 105,729-1.
The 51-year-old's jackpot was swelled as it was the fourth rollover of the Tote's Scoop6 bet - where all money placed at bookies and courses nationwide is pooled.
And he could boost his winnings to nearly £1.9m this Saturday as the bet entitles him to pick another horse at Sandown, reports The Sun.
If that's successful, he will win a bonus pot of £983,495. The anonymous punter, from Poole, placed his bet at his local Corals. He was the only winner of the Scoop6 pot.
Corals spokesman Simon Clare said: "We have looked through the records and we think this guy is the biggest single winner in the history of betting shops.
"A win like this is every punter's dream. He's had some phenomenal luck, too. Apart from one race, he didn't pick horses that were outright favourites - most of them were pretty much long-shots."
Now the punter is looking forward to the Betfred Gold Cup on Saturday, where he hopes to pick the winner from a field of 20.
Mr Clare said: "He has nearly another million riding on that one. But whatever happens, he can't lose what he's already won."
this was obvoiusly written by a foreigner because there are missing U's in humour and neighboUr sorry about that




Heights a pain

At age 33, Leonid Stadnik wishes he would stop growing. He's already 8 feet, 4 inches. Recent measurements show that Stadnik is already 7 inches taller than Radhouane Charbib of Tunisia, listed by the Guinness Book of World Records as the tallest living man.

He's also gaining on the 8-11 Robert Wadlow, the tallest man in history. Yet for Stadnik, the prospect of becoming a record-holder would be little comfort.

"My two-year-old suit's sleeves and pants are now 30 centimeters (12 inches) shorter than I need," said Stadnik. "My height is God's punishment. My life has no sense."

Stadnik's height keeps him confined to this tiny village 130 miles west of the capital, Kiev.

"Taking a public bus for me is the same as getting into a car's trunk for a normal person," he said.

Stadnik's unusual growth began after a brain operation at age 14, which is believed to have stimulated his pituitary gland. Since then, life just keeps getter harder.

Although he once was able to work as a veterinarian at a cattle farm, he had to quit three years ago after his feet were frostbitten because he wasn't able to afford proper shoes for his 17-inch feet.

This month, he finally got a good pair, paid for by some local businessmen. Their $200 cost was the equivalent of about seven months' worth of the tiny pension that Stadnik receives in the economically struggling country.

Stadnik sleeps on two beds joined lengthwise and moves in a crouch through the small one-story house that he shares with his mother Halyna.

His weight of about 440 pounds aggravates a recently broken leg, and he suffers from constant knee pain.

Despite his aches, he tries to keep himself busy with the usual routine of country life. He works in the garden, tends the family's cows and pigs, and helps neighbors with their animals.

To relax, he cultivates exotic plants and pampers his tiny, blue and yellow pet parakeet with his huge hands.

Bronyslav, a neighbor who refused to give his last name, described Stadnik as the "most unselfish, diligent man of a pure soul."

His friends, in turn, treat him with the same sort of soft good humor. They're trying to organize a trip for him to the Carpathian Mountains to show him that "there's something in the world taller than you," Bronyslav said





Batman and Robin fighting crime - in Whitley

Two mystery men dressed as Batman and Robin have been fighting crime and saving damsels in distress in a small English town.
The pair have been spotted springing into action a number of times in recent weeks on the streets of Whitley, near Reading.
The Reading Evening Post asked readers for news of the duo after they dealt with a pair of streakers at a local football cup final.
And the newspaper was besieged with calls from residents who claimed to have seen the 'superheroes' in action.
Michelle Kirby was stranded when her Peugeot 206 ran out of petrol on Easter Sunday - until Batman and Robin appeared out of nowhere and pushed her car to the nearest petrol station.
She said: "They just appeared. I saw them running down the road in Batman and Robin outfits - I was laughing so much.
"It was like a scene out of Only Fools and Horses and they stayed in character the whole time.
"They said, "I'm Batman, I'm Robin" and I said, "No, you're not" and asked them if they were going to a fancy dress party but they said they were going back to Gotham City."
Ray Cox, 61, spotted the caped crusaders at about 11.30am after doing his morning shopping.
"I said to my wife, it would make it a better and safer place with these men," he said. "Batman was quite a broad chap. They would scare a few muggers off and I'd feel safer in Whitley."

Saturday, May 08, 2004

One in a million bullet victim

A MAN trying to slaughter a cow accidentally wounded a woman passenger in a passing car, sparking a major police alert near Caboolture yesterday afternoon.

Teams of police in bulletproof vests rushed to the Beachmere property after the Brisbane woman, 46, was shot.

A police spokesman said a man was trying to shoot a cow with a high-calibre rifle, but missed.

The bullet travelled across the Hanson St property, just north of Brisbane, through a car yard and lodged in the left thigh of the woman in a moving vehicle on Beachmere Rd 200m away.

"It appears to be a freak accident with a one-in-a-million chance of actually happening," the police spokesman said.
The woman's husband, who was driving, pulled into a service station seconds after he realised his wife had been shot.

She was taken to Caboolture Hospital, then to Greenslopes Hospital in Brisbane, where she was in a stable condition last night.

Service station employee Vikki Burnett said the distressed man pulled up and asked her to call an ambulance.

The woman had her hand pressed to the wound, and said she could feel the bullet in her leg.

"She looked strangely calm, but there was a lot of blood," Ms Burnett said.

A man in his 50s was questioned by police. It is understood he will not be charged with any serious offences.

"This guy had no idea he had shot someone in the leg and was very upset when he realised what had happened," the police spokesman said.

He said the man was butchering the cow when police arrived.

A spokeswoman for the man's family said it was a freak accident.

Grandma pays penalty for life in slow lane

WHEN police spotted a Honda Civic full of old ladies driving erratically at dusk on a busy main road, barely exceeding 5mph and standing on the brakes at every bend, they immediately assumed the driver had been drinking.
Other traffic was braking sharply to avoid a collision. The police car switched on blue lights and siren, but the Honda failed to pull over. It was looking like a clearcut breathalyser case.

When officers eventually persuaded the Honda to stop, they found it in the charge of Mary Limond, 75, entirely sober but lost, late and having dreadful trouble with her new glasses. Mrs Limond, a widow and grandmother from Bearsden, Glasgow, was fined £200 and given six penalty points at Stirling Sheriff Court yesterday after pleading guilty to careless driving on a 60mph stretch of the A81 between Drumgoyne and Blanefield, Stirlingshire.

The court heard that Mrs Limond had bought a new pair of glasses only days before taking friends on a regular scenic drive to Tighnabruaich, Argyllshire. They had intended to return in daylight but became lost on the way home.

Gordon Fraser, for the defence, told the court: �Mrs Limond had just obtained new lenses for her spectacles, and found herself being dazzled by the cars coming in the opposite direction. When the police car switched its lights on it was so close to her that she was dazzled; she thought the car was trying to overtake her.”

Mrs Limond, who has been driving blamelessly for 50 years and had never been in court before, said after the hearing: �Because my eyes had not adjusted to the new lenses, I found myself being dazzled by the headlights of the other cars.”

Mrs Limond intends to continue taking her friends on their outings, but will try to make it home in daylight.

Saturday, May 01, 2004

Friday, April 30, 2004

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

Batman and Robin fighting crime - in Whitley


Two mystery men dressed as Batman and Robin have been fighting crime and saving damsels in distress in a small English town.
The pair have been spotted springing into action a number of times in recent weeks on the streets of Whitley, near Reading.
The Reading Evening Post asked readers for news of the duo after they dealt with a pair of streakers at a local football cup final.
And the newspaper was besieged with calls from residents who claimed to have seen the 'superheroes' in action.
Michelle Kirby was stranded when her Peugeot 206 ran out of petrol on Easter Sunday - until Batman and Robin appeared out of nowhere and pushed her car to the nearest petrol station.
She said: "They just appeared. I saw them running down the road in Batman and Robin outfits - I was laughing so much.
"It was like a scene out of Only Fools and Horses and they stayed in character the whole time.
"They said, "I'm Batman, I'm Robin" and I said, "No, you're not" and asked them if they were going to a fancy dress party but they said they were going back to Gotham City."
Ray Cox, 61, spotted the caped crusaders at about 11.30am after doing his morning shopping.
"I said to my wife, it would make it a better and safer place with these men," he said. "Batman was quite a broad chap. They would scare a few muggers off and I'd feel safer in Whitley."

Sunday, April 25, 2004

Height's a pain


At age 33, Leonid Stadnik wishes he would stop growing. He's already 8 feet, 4 inches. Recent measurements show that Stadnik is already 7 inches taller than Radhouane Charbib of Tunisia, listed by the Guinness Book of World Records as the tallest living man.

He's also gaining on the 8-11 Robert Wadlow, the tallest man in history. Yet for Stadnik, the prospect of becoming a record-holder would be little comfort.

"My two-year-old suit's sleeves and pants are now 30 centimeters (12 inches) shorter than I need," said Stadnik. "My height is God's punishment. My life has no sense."

Stadnik's height keeps him confined to this tiny village 130 miles west of the capital, Kiev.

"Taking a public bus for me is the same as getting into a car's trunk for a normal person," he said.

Stadnik's unusual growth began after a brain operation at age 14, which is believed to have stimulated his pituitary gland. Since then, life just keeps getter harder.

Although he once was able to work as a veterinarian at a cattle farm, he had to quit three years ago after his feet were frostbitten because he wasn't able to afford proper shoes for his 17-inch feet.

This month, he finally got a good pair, paid for by some local businessmen. Their $200 cost was the equivalent of about seven months' worth of the tiny pension that Stadnik receives in the economically struggling country.

Stadnik sleeps on two beds joined lengthwise and moves in a crouch through the small one-story house that he shares with his mother Halyna.

His weight of about 440 pounds aggravates a recently broken leg, and he suffers from constant knee pain.

Despite his aches, he tries to keep himself busy with the usual routine of country life. He works in the garden, tends the family's cows and pigs, and helps neighbors with their animals.

To relax, he cultivates exotic plants and pampers his tiny, blue and yellow pet parakeet with his huge hands.

Bronyslav, a neighbor who refused to give his last name, described Stadnik as the "most unselfish, diligent man of a pure soul."

His friends, in turn, treat him with the same sort of soft good humor. They're trying to organize a trip for him to the Carpathian Mountains to show him that "there's something in the world taller than you," Bronyslav said

Sunday, April 04, 2004

April 2004 Archives

Tosser Piers resigns

The Mirror board said Morgan would be stepping down immediately
Daily Mirror editor Piers Morgan has been sacked after the newspaper conceded photos of British soldiers abusing an Iraqi were fake.
In a statement the Mirror said it had fallen victim to a "calculated and malicious hoax" and that it would be "inappropriate" for Morgan to continue.

The Queen's Lancashire Regiment (QLR) said the Mirror had endangered British troops by running the pictures.

Roger Goodman, of the QLR, said the regiment now felt "vindicated".

Mr Goodman added: "It is just a great pity it has taken so long... and that so much damage has been done in the meantime."
The Daily Mirror... apologises unreservedly for publishing the pictures and deeply regrets the reputational damage done to the QLR and the Army in Iraq

Mirror statement

At a news conference in Preston on Friday afternoon, the regiment demonstrated to reporters aspects of uniform and equipment which it said proved the photographs were fake.

The regiment's Brigadier Geoff Sheldon said the vehicle featured in the photographs had been located in a Territorial Army base in Lancashire and had never been in Iraq.

He said the QLR's reputation had been damaged by the Mirror and asked the newspaper to apologise because the evidence they were staged was "overwhelming".

The Conservatives said they hoped lessons had been learned from the row.

Deputy leader and foreign affairs spokesman, Michael Ancram, said: ''Looking at the facts objectively, this is the right thing for Piers Morgan to have done.

"The photos that were published in the Daily Mirror have done great damage to the reputation of our troops, who are serving under some of the most difficult conditions in Iraq.''

'Recruiting poster for al-Qaeda'

The photos published in the Mirror on 1 May appeared to show British troops torturing an Iraqi detainee.

In one picture a soldier is seen urinating on a hooded man while in another the hooded man is being hit with a rifle in the groin.

Colonel Black, a former regiment commander of the QLR, said the pictures put lives in danger and acted as a "recruiting poster" for al-Qaeda.

Downing Street refused to comment on the issue, saying it was a matter for the Mirror board.

This was about the life of British soldiers, and you can't tough it out when you're wrong

Andrew Neil, former editor of the Sunday Times
Morgan will be replaced on a temporary basis by his deputy, Des Kelly.

The newspaper released a statement saying: "The Daily Mirror published in good faith photographs which it absolutely believed were genuine images of British soldiers abusing an Iraqi prisoner.

"However there is now sufficient evidence to suggest that these pictures are fakes and that the Daily Mirror has been the subject of a calculated and malicious hoax.

"The Daily Mirror therefore apologises unreservedly for publishing the pictures and deeply regrets the reputational damage done to the QLR and the Army in Iraq.

"The paper will continue to cooperate fully with the investigation.

"The board of Trinity Mirror has decided that it would be inappropriate for Piers Morgan to continue in his role as editor of the Daily Mirror and he will therefore be stepping down with immediate effect."

The Sun newspaper had offered a £50,000 reward for "information about the fake Mirror photos" but withdrew the offer following the sacking of Morgan.





Italian police get Lamborghinis

Italian police have been given something of a helping hand in their bid to catch crooks.
The latest addition to their fleet of cars is a Lamborghini sports car with a top speed of 192mph.

The 2-seater Lamborghini Gallardo will be used along highways in southern Italy.
The car, a gift from the Italian car factory, uses a V10 cylinder DOHC four valve V90 5 litre, 500 Hp engine.
So beware !! Itie thieves





Boomerangs 'are British'

A carving on a rock in Yorkshire proves ancient Britons and not Australian Aborigines invented the boomerang, an author claims.
Terry Deary says the markings on the Swastika Stone on Ilkley Moor are curvy boomerangs and not a sun or fire worship symbol.
Sky News reports that the writer of the Horrible Histories books was jogging past the rock when the thought occurred to him.
He suggests the carving - dating from around 3,000 to 4,000 BC - is in fact a depiction of a quadrang-style boomerang.
Mr Deary said: "It's the earliest representation of a boomerang. There's nothing else it could be."
Aerodynamic throwsticks were developed by a number of stone age civilisations thousands of years ago, but Aboriginal Australians have commonly been associated with their invention, some 10,000 years ago.
Mr Deary, however, claims the Swastika Stone carving is the first representation of a return boomerang.
He says early ones would have been four-armed as it was easier to get them to return.





Indian man aiming for 100th marriage

An Indian man who's become famous for marrying 90 times wants to marry 10 more women for his "century".
Udaynath Dakshiniray, 80, of Orali in Orissa, claims he's received nine recent offers of marriage from overseas.
He says he's had three proposals from both the US and Japan, two from Hungary and one from Germany.
Born in an affluent family of landowners, Udaynath's first marriage ended when he refused to leave his village and settle with his bride in the neighbouring town of Dhenkanal.
It is reported that the young man was shocked and frustrated and vowed to marry at least 100 women.





Safe Driver Did not hold a licence

A PENSIONER on his way to receive an award for 25 years accident-free driving was stopped by police at a roadside check - and then admitted he did not have a licence. Wilibald Schmidt, 77, had been forced to hand over his licence for driving offences a quarter of a century before, but had carried on driving illegally without it, according to a report in the German daily newspaper, Bild.

Because Mr Schmidt had not had an accident since 1978, the local motoring club in Essen, Germany, where he was a member, had invited him to receive an award for his "careful driving and good example to other motorists".

Friday, February 13, 2004