Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Hotel bans the F word

A British hotel is offering football-free breaks for "soccer widows" desperate to escape wall-to-wall coverage of the World Cup.

Any guest who overhears a member of staff mentioning the f-word ("football") will be given a free glass of champagne.

"The bookings are starting to stream in," said Mike Bevans, manager of the Linthwaite House Hotel in the picturesque Lakes District, one of Britain's prime tourist destinations.

The sport supplements are being taken out of daily newspapers and, instead of blanket TV coverage of the big games, guests will be offered a string of romantic movies on DVD such as Dirty Dancing and Pretty Woman.

The World Cup finals in Germany start on June 9, with the final in Berlin on July 9.

Ukraine's Prime Minister has urged bosses to adjust the working day or set up television sets so staff can watch the national side open their World Cup campaign against Spain on June 14.

"On June 14 at 4:00pm we can expect an epidemic of unknown diseases. People will call in sick en masse," Yuri Yekhanurov told a cabinet meeting on Wednesday.

"We recommend all administrators adjust the working day by starting earlier or installing television sets where possible. Do what you can to make it possible for people to watch soccer."

Ukraine are making their first appearance in the World Cup finals.

They are drawn in Group H with Spain, Tunisia and Saudi Arabia.

Coach Oleh Blokhin has set his team's minimum target as reaching the tournament's second round.

3 comments:

yellowdog granny said...

are you guys in the finals???? sorry..i am trying to catch on..

dom said...

YES as are the USA ... keep up!
Go get yer flag and fly it ... surprise everyone in yer town by saying

"GO USA GO USA"
then explain it's for soccer.

dom said...

Fucked if I can be arsed arguing anymore about football/soccer